Letters
by Aerlyn-Angel-of-Death
Summary: Sasuke finds some letters addressed to himself when he's in Naruto's apartment and decides that since he is away on a mission it won't do any harm to read them. They are addressed to him, after all. Shonenai, *BEING REWRITTEN!*
1. Lost and Found

Title: Letters  
Author: Aerlyn-Angel-of-Death  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
Warnings: Swearing, shonen-ai, angst.  
Summary: Sasuke finds some letters addressed to himself when he's in Naruto's apartment, and he decides that since Naruto is away on a mission it would be all right to read them. They _are_ addressed to him, after all…

**UPDATE****!:** Okay, so 'Letters' was a story I wrote, what…three years ago? Four? Anyways, I was maybe fifteen at the time and it came in the middle of my yaoifangasm stage. I haven't thought about the thing for two years or so, until recently I got some more reviews for it. One of these reviews complained about the end of the story. I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't read it, but suffice to say it involves the classical seme/uke stereotypes. The reviewer disliked this; however, since they were anonymous, I could not reply that I was _fifteen_ when I wrote the story and had no idea how to write a realistic relationship. So…basically what's happening is I'm rewriting Letters. Not so much because of that one negative review out of, I don't know, three hundred or so, but more because I was never really satisfied with the ending and was simply reminded of it by recent reviews.

(However, for the curious among you, I will not be writing any more fanfiction after this. I don't really like this series anymore, and I feel uncomfortable using other people's characters in my writing at this point. Not that that should come as such a big surprise since I haven't uploaded anything in three or four years, but there you go. Sorry for the terribly long author's note; it won't happen again.)

**At this point in the story the main characters, namely Naruto and Sasuke, are thirty-two years old. Most of the teenaged drama is gone; for instance, Sasuke's little 'I will destroy you all' rampage. And keep in mind that I'm not following the show currently, so if some people have magically come back to life or ****you sight similar plot discrepancies, feel free to consider this an alternate universe story where Sasuke is not a **_**total**_** psychopath and doesn't cause total chaos and such.**

Disclaimer: I'm only making this one, right here, in the first chapter: I do not own Naruto; all credit for original characters and story, etc., go to whoever does own it – Kishimoto and Bandai and those people. And considering where the show has gone in the past year or so, I am okay with that.

**Chapter One: ****Lost and Found**

Sasuke stood staring at the door, his hand on the knob. Conceivably he could try searching around the doorway for a hidden key and just let himself in. Hell, if he really wanted to, he could go in through the window; in a city of ninjas, few people bothered to lock them. And this was Naruto's house, for goodness' sake; he shouldn't be so nervous. Naruto was his friend. He tapped a finger on the doorknob.

…Nervous? That was the wrong word. No – no, he wasn't nervous. Not about simply going into a friend's house while he was away to pick up some overdue reports. It was just that…well, it was just that it had been _Kakashi_ who sent him here, and even all these years later Sasuke had difficulty accepting that Kakashi was not up to something. The man was always three steps ahead, and in a city of ninjas that was a damned difficult thing to be. When Kakashi told a person to do something – and especially when that person was Sasuke – there was usually a trick of some sort up his sleeve. And so Sasuke was quite understandably…apprehensive; that was the word. Naruto hadn't been in his home for about three weeks now, which would be plenty of time for Kakashi to set a trap, besides which Naruto was not averse to playing a trick or two himself, at times. If Kakashi was planning something, the blonde man would be unlikely to refuse his ideas. The fact that Naruto hadn't handed in a mission report in three months seemed a little too convenient, really. The official story was that Naruto had just gotten lazy about handing them in, which Iruka blamed Kakashi for. Kakashi, therefore, had become responsible for obtaining the missing reports; but actually going to get them himself would be like admitting that it was his fault, so of course he couldn't do _that_. And, Naruto being away on a long-term mission and Sasuke being a close friend of his, it was only natural that he be chosen to fetch the reports instead…

Sasuke sighed and steeled his nerves. As far as pranks went, he had probably seen everything-and-a-half that these two had to offer. What could they possibly do to him that hadn't been done before? He'd been exploded, painted, watered, slimed, food…ed – no, wait, that wasn't a word, was it…?

The door, to Sasuke's surprise, was not locked, and the apartment beyond did not appear to be booby-trapped. The disarray beyond was expected, but not extreme; there were a couple of socks on the floor, shoes tossed haphazardly to one side, and a shirt and a pair of pants strewn over the back of a worn-looking couch. A windowsill full of plants, green and healthy, occupied the wall to Sasuke's right. The small kitchen table was half occupied by empty ramen cups, and half occupied with a wild mixture of scrolls, books, papers, and various writing utensils, as if Naruto had got up in the middle of a report and left. Sasuke took all of this in at a glance and crossed to the bedroom door to the left, being careful where he stepped and watching keenly for trip-wires. Kakashi had said that the reports could be found somewhere in there.

He'd never really had an occasion to enter Naruto's bedroom, and so it surprised him to find that the walls, carpet, blanket, and pillows were all a cool, tranquil blue. A bright orange lamp on the bedside table made it seem like a more _Naruto_ kind of place, but the excess of blue was still a little disconcerting. The blonde leaned more towards black and white these days because of the ANBU, and the rest of his apartment was so…gray. But there was a picture of a younger Team Seven on the bedside table, and a picture of Naruto's team of genin hanging on the wall, so there was no doubt that this was, in fact, Naruto's room. Sasuke shrugged it off and made sure to stay alert as he eyed the room for the mission scrolls – but there was no such luck as for them to be lying in plain sight. That meant he would have to search through Naruto's things until he found them. He took a deep breath.

First, Sasuke stood to one side of the closet door and slid it open all at once, expecting at the very least a mess of clothes and junk to tumble out and bury him – but there was nothing. Naruto's clothes were hung neatly on hangers and hooks, or folded carefully into drawers. Extra pairs of boots and shoes were lined up in an orderly row at the bottom of the closet, and boxes full of extra socks, underwear, and gloves occupied the top shelf, along with old sweaters and unmended clothes. He got down on his knees lifted the edge of the blue blanket to look under the bed next; but there was nothing under there except a few dust bunnies and a forgotten sock. The drawers in the bedside table and the small dresser offered similarly disappointing results, until finally Sasuke noticed the chest hidden in the corner of the room behind the bedroom door. He eyed the chest for a little while, suspicious; the scrolls would have to be in there. The rest of the room hadn't been booby-trapped so far, but…that was the last place to look. If there was a trap anywhere in here, it would be in that chest.

The dark-haired man sat on the bed thinking for a moment, and then took the blanket off the bed and wrapped himself in it before approaching. A quilt would never stop a blade, but then, this was Naruto and Kakashi; it was unlikely that they would actually try to kill him.

…Probably.

…No. They wouldn't.

…They were insane, but not _insane_. They wouldn't really try to hurt him.

…Maybe he should have worn armour for this.

He slipped the blade of a kunai into the crack were lid met case and slid it all the way around the edge, to set off any traps that might have been set for him. Nothing seemed to happen, so he held the blanket up in front of his face and opened the lid. He waited a moment…and then two…and then three. Nothing.

Slowly, Sasuke lowered the blanket and peered into the chest. There, sitting innocently on top of a pile of other scrolls and papers, was a stack of scrolls tied together with string that had a note attached, in Naruto's handwriting: _MISSION REPORTS. Naruto, seriously, hand these in TODAY. You're not old enough to be senile, so stop forgetting. _Sasuke shook his head and smiled, and put a hand on the scrolls. Nothing exploded or leaped out at him, so he picked them up, and would have turned to leave had not something odd caught his eye. Underneath the scrolls was a stack of envelopes, also tied together with string, and bearing the name _Uchiha Sasuke_ in that same scrawling handwriting.

Sasuke looked at them and sighed. This was probably the trap…and he shouldn't be curious, but he was. It might have been that he was growing masochistic in his old age, but he couldn't help but wonder what Kakashi had planned. It seemed too simple. How could Kakashi really think he would fall for – for his name on an envelope? It wasn't clever or subtle or _anything_. …Maybe Kakashi was the one who was failing in his old age. After all, he was at least twelve or fifteen years older than Sasuke; he had to be running out of ideas by now, didn't he?

Eventually, warring with himself inside, Sasuke reached out and poked the envelope with a kunai. Nothing happened, so he slipped the knife under the string and pulled it out of the stack of papers that held it captive. The papers shifted a little, but nothing else happened, and Sasuke took the envelopes in hand. There were maybe twenty of them, and they weren't very heavy – about the weight one would expect of letters. Perhaps they contained exploding notes or something of that variety, but even that would be a little elementary for Kakashi and Naruto. They'd done it so many times before, after all, and besides – why have twenty of the things? He would hardly open the next nineteen if the first one blew up in his face. He wasn't _that_ masochistic.

Sasuke scanned the letter with his sharingan, which revealed nothing, and then checked the other envelopes for his name. There it was – Uchiha Sasuke, ten times in a row. Sasuke regarded them suspiciously for a second more, but…well, Naruto couldn't even remember to deliver his _mission reports_. How could be possibly remember to deliver personal letters? Although Sasuke couldn't think of a reason why Naruto would write letters to him, there wasn't anything too terribly odd about it. They were friends. Friends wrote to each other sometimes, right? …Not usually when they lived about ten minutes from each other, but it was still possible. Sasuke decided that, since Naruto was gone and they were friends and nothing seemed to be wrong with the envelopes, he would take them. They were clearly meant for him, whether as a prank or because Naruto had just forgotten to mail them, so there was no harm in doing so. He carefully rearranged the bedroom to its former state of order and, taking the letters and the mission scrolls in hand, left the bedroom.

Halfway out the apartment a water jutsu over the door triggered and a load of water poured down over his head. Sasuke paused, and then continued on with a self-satisfied smile on his face. _Kakashi __**is**__ getting old, _he thought. _Now he has to give Iruke wet, smeared scrolls, __**and**__ I get to hug him while completely soaked. He needs to plan these things more carefully._

Sasuke did not get to the slightly damp letters until much later that night, after he'd run all his errands and eaten dinner. He started with the one on the bottom, which seemed to be the oldest and therefore the first letter written. He opened it with a kunai, just to be safe, and handled the paper inside carefully; but it appeared just to be a regular letter.

…In years to come, Sasuke would question why he thought that Naruto would every produce _anything_ just regular.

What he read that night, sitting on his couch in a dark apartment with only the reading lamp on, was this:

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I'm dying._ (Sasuke's heart skipped a beat and he wondered what Naruto had been keeping from him.)

_No, seriously. My head hurts and shit is coming out of my bodily orifices that I never even knew the body could produce. I mean, not shit literally, but stuff – fluids and shit. You know? And I'm really cold and sweaty all the time and I think this cut I got in my thigh is infected and the nurse doesn't seem to be doing anything much about it, so…I'm probably not going to live to see tomorrow. I just thought that, since you're my friend and all, I'd write this letter and, you know, let you know. And just so you know, I've got a fucking nasty headache and my eyes are all googly right now, so if what I'm writing doesn't make any sense, don't feel too bad. The sentiment is there, right? The 'writing-my-best-friend-a-goodbye-letter' sentiment. So. That's all right, then._

_Okay. Now…I should warn you. This isn't gonna be total sap. I've got something to get off my chest, and if you don't want to know what it is you'd better, like, burn this letter. No, seriously. I'm being serious. You will probably not like it. Turn back now. This is the point of no return! __**You can't take it back once you've read these words!**__**DOOM IS NEAR!**_

…_Still with me?_

_Okay. So. I'm in love with you. _(Although stunned, Sasuke could hardly stop reading there. He swallowed and pressed on…)

_And it really fucking sucks, in case you were wondering. I mean, we're friends. And plus, you're like this total jackass twerp so convinced of your superiororority (is that a word?) that you can't even, like…where was I going with this? Jackass twerp…well. That's about it. I mean, it's hard being love with someone like that, because you can't say you're in love with them because they're such jackasses and they'd probably think it was a stupid joke or something._

…_All right, so, that was a little unfair. I couldn't tell you I was in love with you even if you weren't a jackass. Especially if you weren't a jackass. Jackass. Jackass jackass jackass – sorry. I though I hadn't said it enough times yet. Anyways. Even if you were like, this really nice, sweet guy, I could never admit to you that I was in love. You're my friend, and also I get kind of weird in the head when I'm around you, which really sucks. It sucks that I can go on S-class missions and kill people without batting an eye, and then I come back to the village and you and I turn into a stumbling, clumsy teenaged boy again. I mean, that kind of shit is supposed to happen to teenaged girls, right? Not me. Not ANBU. I'll have you know that I don't trip up on myself and say stupid shit nearly as often when I'm not around you, you bastard._

_So, anyways…yeah. I'm in love with you. I don't suppose that really comes as a surprise, _(it did, actually)_ because you are the almight Uchiha Sasuke and your awesomeness is just another service you offer, but I guess I should give you some reasons why, anyways. Probably more for my sake than yours. I mean, I'm the one who's all 'I'm in love' and shit and confused about why or – not really why I love you, but why it had to be __**you**__, if you know what I mean. Now, you – you're probably not confused at all. Angry, maybe. I mean, you're, like, dripping with girls. They love you crazy types. There's no way you'd even think of me that way – and that's kind of what's got me confused, too, because I shouldn't be thinking of you this way either. I mean sure, my teenaged years pretty much revolved around your crazy spree, but…I like girls. I've always liked girls! I've had girlfriends! I __**like**__ it when girls like me! And then I go and fall in love with you, who are most definitely not of the feminine persuasion._

…_Hehe, feminine persuasion. You know what that makes me picture? You dressed up in a – well, a dress. It's probably funnier in my head than here. Sorry. Off topic._

_Anyways. Where was I going with this…reasons? I was going to list reasons. Okay. Here she goes._

_You're my friend. I like spending time with you and talking to you and shit, even if you are kind of a nut. (And don't glare at me. You remember your teenaged years. You know you're screwed in the head just as well as everyone else does.)_

_You're sexy. I'm sorry, I know that's gotta sound weird coming from a friend, but…well. You know. You __**are**__. (To be honest, I thought you were pretty a long time before I even liked you. Didn't start causing problems until I started comparing girls to you before I deemed them pretty or not. I mean, that's just not right. Guys aren't supposed to do that with other guys. Threw my head for a spin when I realized I was doing that.)_

…_The crazy, to be honest. I mean, it's weird and freaky sometimes, but you remember when I said the girls love you crazy types? Well. It sounds fucking girly, but I gotta say…crazy is a good look for you. And when it's not all directed towards, like, destroying everything I ever loved, the crazy can be pretty fun, in moderation. (Yes, I just turned crazy into a noun. AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, because by the time you read this I'll be dead. So ha.)_

_You're funny. Not on purpose, most of the time, since you are the almighty Uchiha Sasuke, but…you're funny. You get weird over little things, and like I said, the crazy can be fun in moderation. You make me laugh. Since usually I'm the one at least trying to make other people laugh, I appreciate that in someone else._

_What else is there?_

_You don't hate me, I guess. That's always a big plus. …Man, I don't know. You're just awesome._

_So, um._

_Well?_

_You're smart! That's one! The crazy and the smart complement each other nicely. And even in imaginary relationships, it's always nice to have someone in mind with an IQ greater than that of your average turnip, so you more than qualify._

_Okay. I just wanted this list to have ten points. What else can I put here…oh, yeah; we've saved each other's lives, like, a billion times. You're a good ninja. You're a good fighter. It's good to have someone to spar with who's on a level with me and isn't ANBU, because honestly most of those guys are even weirder in the head than you. (And also fighting with you is probably the sexiest thing I ever get to do with you, so that's pretty awesome.)_

_So…that's about it._

_Yep._

…

_WOOOOOOooooooo, I wrote it down! Take that, sucker!_

_Sorry. I wasn't calling you a sucker. I meant the whole – the thing. The love thing. The letter._

_Anyways, I've written the whole thing down. I can die happy now. And here's the nurse, right on time to administer powerful drugs and make my pain go away. Lovely. Maybe she can help me out with the whole 'dying happy' thing._

…

_Ah. I guess not. She's not permitted to kill ANBU without direct orders. Damn._

_Well. I guess I've babbled for long enough, so I'll be signing off here. Oh, just one more thing – if you ever read this and I'm still alive, please don't kill me. I'm too young to die. Except in regard to death-by-hot-nurse. So unless you're willing to dress up in a nurse outfit (which would be sexy as hell, but unlikely) please don't kill me. If it's not too much trouble._

_U. Naruto_

Sasuke slowly put the letter down in his lap and stared into the shadows for some time. Various explanations flitted through his head. Foremost among them was that Kakashi and Naruto had planted these letters as a joke, in order to upset him. But…it seemed wrong, somehow. Naruto would never agree to something like this, simply because he would never admit to being gay even in joking. It was possible that Kakashi had used the sharingan to copy Naruto's handwriting, but…his tone and writing style, too? His whole personality? And the content. If they had been trying to make a fool of him, why not deliver it to him in a public place? Why not make it more…sappy? More like a love letter and less like a death-bed confession? Besides which, Sasuke _remembered_ the time Naruto had been in the hospital with an infected cut in his thigh, and he remembered the half-delirious man grabbing his hands and asking if he was going to die, his blue eyes bright with fever. So…

So…

…What if it wasn't a forgery? Sasuke barely dared to let himself think the thought, mostly because he didn't quite know what to do with it. What if it wasn't a forgery? What if Naruto really was in love with him and had just never told him?

What if?

…Well? Sasuke didn't know. He was so deep in shock right now that he couldn't even tell if he thought it would be good or bad, either way. Maybe he was a little…curious. Not _interested_ per se, but…curious. Confused, certainly. That was all right, wasn't it? He was allowed to be confused. After all, Naruto had never shown any sign that he was interested – at least, not that Sasuke could tell. …Although he had said in his letter that he wasn't nearly as clumsy when he wasn't around Sasuke. Naruto's behaviour had never seemed strange to Sasuke before, because that was just Naruto, as he had always been and, as far as Sasuke was concerned, was always likely to be. He could see that that thinking was flawed, now that he had reason to question it; Naruto could hardly have been a member of ANBU for so long if he was always as loud and obnoxious and completely un-stealthy as he was around the village.

The letter opened some strange doors for the dark-haired man, but ninjas were good at coping with stress – they had to be. He put the letter away, determined not to read any more until he had time to confront Kakashi about the possible deception. Then he went to bed, telling himself that this was a worry that could wait until morning to process. And if his dreams were a little full of blonde hair and blue eyes that night, well…the subconscious did weird things sometimes, and it was absolutely not his fault.

**End Chapter One.**

A/N: this'll be a short one, I promise. I'm going to leave up all of the old chapters until I've written their replacements, and then I'll just replace them as I go. (And just so you know, the plot is going to be changed quite a bit. Sakura may not be involved at all, since that caused me problems the last time around. Apologies to those of you who liked her in this story.)


	2. Decisions, Decisions

A/N: Thank you so much to all the wonderful, beautiful, amazing, incredible, magnificent people who reviewed on the first chapter!!! I'm so glad you loved it so much. And please remember, I'm a writer, so I LIVE OFF OF REVIEWS!!!!!! FEED ME REVIEWS – FEED ME, FEED ME!!! I WILL DIE WITHOUT _**REVIEWS**_!!!!!

**A/N2 (PLEASE READ THIS!):**** Okay, this story is listed under romance and humour, but there will also be some angst in it. Not real, my-life-sucks-and-I-wish-the-world-would-come-to-an-end-or-at-least-something-would-put-me-out-of-my-misery angst, but it's still there. I didn't write this to be completely ridiculous. Of course, it's not like I want you to be, I don't know, getting ready to bawl your eyes out or something. It's not THAT bad…**

Disclaimer: If you want the truth – I OWN EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE AND I HAVE DONALD TRUMP'S SOUL IN A JAR!!!!!! Only I don't, so you can ignore me. I am making no profit off of this story. I own nothing. Except Donald Trump's soul, which is a lovely reddish-orange colour and lights up my keyboard very nicely. I don't suppose he misses it very much.

Chapter Two: Decisions, Decisions

Sasuke stayed calm up until about two o'clock in the morning, when he lost control of his brain for about a minute, during which time he shouted at the top of his lungs and broke several windows and a few pieces of furniture. That period of time ended when he accidentally hit his head on a doorframe and had to go sit down for a while until his mind cleared, and after that he felt all right enough to sit down and actually try to think about what he should do.

He didn't have many choices, really. This wasn't some neurotic fangirl; although he might be a little neurotic, Naruto was still Sasuke's best friend. He couldn't just be dismissed out of hand. But there was also the fact that now that he knew what Naruto was thinking about… well, he was actually a little confused on that point. His initial response was one of distaste, but now that he'd sat and thought about it for a while he could see that it was more the knowledge that he _should _be disgusted rather than actual feelings of revulsion. To be completely honest, the idea that Naruto had romantic interest in him didn't bother him that much, if at all, which disturbed him more than anything else had.

But he was straight. He'd never had any doubt on that point – especially since his only example of a homosexual was Orochimaru, and that was just – no. He wasn't even going there. Just – no. No, no, no. He shuddered at little.

Anyways. He had a girlfriend – no, he had a fiancé! Sakura and he had been engaged quite a while ago, although he kept forgetting that little detail…

On the other hand, Naruto had had girlfriends before too. Many, in fact, once he stopped acting like an obnoxious little kid.

He shook his head. This wasn't helping him make his decision. Basically he could do one of two things: he could put the letters back and forget what he'd read so that their relationship wouldn't be compromised, or he could confront Naruto about it and –

And what? Tell him they could never be friends again, knowing what he did about the blonde? Tell him he returned his feelings?

That one was out. No reasoning really needed – it just was. And he wasn't willing to give up Naruto as a friend over this – they'd been through too much, and it wasn't as if he could just go out and find a new best friend.

He went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea. The letter was sitting on the table, next to the other envelopes. He stood in front of the stove, eyeing the stack as he sipped at his tea. Really, there was nothing else to do. He had to return them and act like nothing had ever happened.

Sasuke sighed and poured himself some more tea, then sat down and set about replacing the letter in its envelope and resealing it. As curious as he was about the other letters, he couldn't continue this.

When dawn came he grabbed all three stacks of letters and went to Naruto's apartment, drawing on his photographic memory to replace the letters exactly as he'd found them. Then he went home, showered, changed his clothes, and went to work.

And that was that.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The morning air was cool, but not cold. Now, her hands – her hands were another matter. He held both of them in his to keep them warm, and she leaned gently into his side, still half-asleep. Her shift began very early, so there weren't many people up. It was peaceful, walking along with only her wrapped in his arms, the birds singing in the trees as the sun started to peek over the horizon for the start of a new day.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Her voice was sleepy, hardly more than a whisper.

"Mm?" He was starting to think that maybe after their walk he would just skip work and go back to sleep.

"Can you tell me something?"

"Mm." He wished she wouldn't ask him things this early in the morning, when he was feeling so comfortable and his brain was just settling into a blissful auto-pilot mode.

"What in all hells is wrong with you?"

"Mm?"

Sakura stopped walking and crossed her arms over her chest. Sasuke stopped as well and turned to face her, dragging himself out of sleep-mode and wondering how she could do it so easily. Sakura wasn't scowling, despite the tone of her voice – she looked more worried than anything else.

"Sakura, honey, I assure you I'm fine."

The pink-haired medic shook her head. "I don't believe you. We've been friends for a long time – I can tell when your moods change, and you've been hanging around me a lot. You've walked me to work every single day for the past ten days, walked me home after my shift, and you've made me dinner three days in a row."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow at her. "Am I not allowed to spend time with my fiancé?" he asked, crossing his arms as well.

She rolled her eyes at him. "It's not that. It's just that it's not normal for you, even with Naruto gone on a long mission."

Only Sakura's exceptional observation skills let her see Sasuke's muscles tense as he asked, "What does this have to do with Naruto?"

"Everything," she answered simply, shrugging. "Whenever Naruto's here he hangs off your arm and you're always together. But when he's gone you usually work extra-long hours or make sure Kakashi or Neji or someone finds you so you won't get bored. It's a simple fact that you only go around with me when you're so preoccupied that you forget your usual behaviour or when you're so angry at Naruto that you have to be close to me just to show him you don't need him. You never do that with Kakashi or anyone else, though, so it's either you're angry with Naruto, which is highly unlikely since you haven't seen him for about a month and a half, or something's really wrong."

He looked at her with a carefully empty expression, then turned abruptly on his heel and started walking again. "It's nothing." Sasuke snapped, a little more coldly than he probably should have.

He heard her sigh and she fell back into step with him. "All right, I won't force you to tell me. Just – if something's wrong, please tell me." She said and slipped her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. He relaxed when she didn't say anything more, thankful that she'd dropped the subject, and they walked in a comfortable silence until the hospital came into sight. Then Sakura stopped again. "Sasuke, can I ask you something?" she said very quietly, not meeting his eyes as he turned to look at her.

"Mmhm."

"When – when are we – uh…" he glanced at the woman out of the corner of his eye and saw her nibbling on her bottom lip and tugging on her bangs.

"Yes?" he prompted, resisting the urge to poke her arm.

"When are we going to get married?"

Sasuke blinked. "What?"

"It's just – we've been engaged for so long now, and we haven't even set a date for the wedding." She said nervously, taking her fingers out of her bangs and pulling on her right index finger instead.

He sighed. "Sakura… I've told you before; this just isn't the right time."

She stopped fidgeting and chuckled sadly. "Sasuke," she said, shaking her head at him, "you've been saying that for two years!" He started to say something but she cut him off. "Look, I've known for a while now that you didn't really intend on marrying me – I just had to confirm it. No, no; it's all right. I've had two years to get used to the idea." She smiled regretfully at him.

Sasuke frowned at her. "What are you saying, Sakura?" he asked softly, taking a step towards her.

She shook her head and stepped away from him. "Let's stop pretending, okay? We're still friends."

"But – "

"Sasuke, can you honestly tell me that you're in love with me?" she looked at him steadily, and Sasuke stumbled over his words. Sakura nodded her head. "You see? It's no big deal." She stepped in close and kissed his cheek. He felt her slip something small and cool into his hand, and knew in the back of his mind that it was her engagement ring. Sakura turned quickly away and ran towards the hospital. She turned back at the door, though, and shouted back with a grin on her face, "And for Kami's sake, take care of whatever's bothering you and wake up! You almost walked into three street-lights and a wall on the way here!"

He stood stunned on the sidewalk for several minutes. In a daze, he headed to police headquarters, ignored his secretary trying to give him a message, and sat down at his desk. Sakura's ring hurt his hand where he was holding onto it with all his strength. His short nails were drawing blood from his palms. This couldn't be – this couldn't be happening…

…

But it was.

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Sasuke sat on the blue carpet and stared at the open chest in front of him. Nestled in among papers and scrolls were three stacks of envelopes with his name scribbled across the front. His hands kept trying to reach out and take them, but he suppressed the urge – for the time being.

Sakura. He loved Sakura. Didn't he? Of course. Why would he be engaged to her if he didn't?

Then why hadn't he married her?

Girls – women. He was straight, wasn't he? Well, of course. He was definitely NOT Orochimaru.

But… Naruto wasn't anything like Orochimaru, and he was… well, he was a bit of an idiot, but…

If he really thought about it and looked at how other people in relationships acted around each other, he knew he and Sakura hadn't been right together. But… to be honest, he wouldn't have been right with any of the women he knew. If he thought about it that probably should have been a warning sign, but… well, girls had always been in love with him, and any girl who wasn't in love with him he generally felt grateful towards but it wasn't like he was going to pursue them if they didn't want him. And he avoided anyone who did want him since most of them were insane, so… it had simply always been a fact that he didn't like anyone. He'd thought that that was just how it was for everyone.

But with Ino and Chouji, Neji and Tenten, Kiba and Hinata – they were really happy together. They hugged their partners, kissed them, spent time with them – just because they wanted to, not because they felt obligated to have productive relationships. They really loved each other.

Was it really supposed to be that way? Was he really that ignorant of how things worked?

_So. I love you. __Jeez, it sucks writing that down. Guess why? It's because you're a stubborn, pig-headed jackass, so I could never say that out loud._

Could he be in love with Naruto? Sure, he liked spending time around the blonde more than anyone else, but wasn't that how it was supposed to be with your best friend? Or was it more than that? Could it be that, having never understood how people were supposed to feel towards each other, that he just didn't recognize love when he felt it?

He grabbed the letters and ran home as fast as he could, desperately trying to tell himself that he was dreaming. This couldn't be – this couldn't be happening.

…

But it was, and he couldn't think of anything else to do about it except read the letters.

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A/N: Uhm… yeah… Jeez, I'm sorry it took so bloody long to update… my brain just kept wandering and wandering and wandering and wandering and wandering and wandering and – you see? There I go again. WHY CAN'T I FOCUS, DAMN IT ALL????!!!!


	3. The Second Letter

A/N: I swear I'm in love with everyone who has reviewed my story, so I come far earlier than is normal for me, bearing hugs, cookies, and another chapter!

(And remember – reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and the warmer and fuzzier I feel, the more likely I am to update!!!!.)

Now without any delay, I bring you #3!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I do, however, own the numerous pieces of paper this particular story has been written on, so I own this, and if anyone even tries to steal it I hope they die of anal bleeding.-

Chapter Three: The Second Letter 

His hands were shaking. He didn't know why; it was only a letter, for Kami's sake. But they were shaking nonetheless, and small squirmy creatures were dancing around his stomach while small winged creatures attacked his head.

"All right, this is getting ridiculous." Sasuke growled at himself, slamming his hands down on the table and causing a little bit of his tea to spill. "Just open the damn letter!" He had to curse at himself a few more times, even resorting to the 'c' word (coward), before he managed to get the paper very carefully out of its envelope. He had what, two weeks before Naruto's return? He had about thirty letters to read in that time, and he still had to figure out exactly what he was going to do about it. So he really had to get over this completely irrational fear of paper and READ THE BLOODY LETTERS.

"Dear Sasuke," he whispered out loud as he read, "I got attacked today. Seems a little strange, considering I wasn't on a mission, but that's what happens when Temari is in town and sees Kyru beating her son into the dirt while I watch."

Okay, maybe this one wasn't going to be as difficult to read as the first. Sasuke relaxed a little in his chair and took a sip of tea to calm his nerves.

_You'd think she'd be more professional than that. I TOLD Daisari to work on blocking. I showed him what to do. It's not my fault he's too bloody lazy to care – I blame that on Shikamaru. I think laziness runs in the family._

Sasuke smiled at that. Good. This sounded much more like the Naruto he knew.

_Anyways. Temari came to the training grounds, watched the two kids for a couple minutes, very calmly asked what was going on, and proceeded to beat my sorry ass into the dirt with that damn huge fan of hers. I gotta tell you, it was all I could do to keep myself in one piece, and it's a bloody good thing I heal so fast. Then Shikamaru strolled in, grabbed her around the waist, and swung her over his shoulder. She started beating on his head with the fan, but I think he's developed calluses on his skull or something, because he didn't even flinch. He waved at me and wandered away whistling while she screamed about indignity and useless, brainless males._

_Seriously, do all women get that scary when they become parents? Ino hasn't seen her twins in practice yet, so I don't know how she would react. Although Kyru and Miko aren't nearly as lazy as Daisari, so I wouldn't be worried about them anyways. I just have to thank Kami that Tenten and Neji's kid is only seven and Sakura doesn't have any children, because I know they wouldn't even hesitate to beat the crap out of me. At least Temari asked what was going on first._

_I wonder how you would be with kids. _

Sasuke flinched, but took a deep breath and told himself to keep going. He was reading these because he wanted to know how serious Naruto was about the whole thing. He needed to know. He needed to decide if he really lov – damn it, he was even having trouble thinking it – loved Naruto, or if he was just upset about Sakura breaking up with him.

_It always seems like you don't like them, and they tend to be afraid of you – I mean jeez, man, you've got this 'anti-kid' aura around you or something, which you can practically see whenever children get too close to you, especially if they're sticky or loud at the time. Still, I can't help but wonder what you would do if you had children of your own. I think that, having had a dad like yours, you'd want to spend a lot of time with them and hug them a billion times a day._

Sasuke stiffened. Naruto! He had no right to make comments like that about –

_Now stop glaring. I'm not insulting your dad; he was a great ninja. But even you have to admit he had zero kid-skills. Just because you want your kid to be a good ninja doesn't mean you ignore them if they're not absolute geniuses._

He scowled at little. Perhaps Naruto knew him a little TOO well. How did he always know when Sasuke would start glaring at the page? Was he that predictable?

Well… probably, yes.

_I think you'd be good with kids, once we got rid of that ice-mask of yours. I think you'd be the kind of dad who is delighted when his son brings snakes and frogs into the house to show you how wonderfully gross they are, or is happy to sit in the sun in the afternoon while your daughter braids flowers in your hair._

_That's a funny picture, in and of itself – Sasuke Uchiha with a little girl hanging off his arm and calling him 'Daddy.' I bet you anything she'd have you wrapped around her little finger, and you'd be the biggest pushover in the history of forever._

Sasuke tried, and failed, to imagine himself with a daughter. He didn't have much experience with females except as comrades and unwanted attachments to his body. He could, however, imagine Naruto laughing his head off while a five-year-old girl dangled from his arm and refused to let go. And of course Naruto wouldn't offer even a little bit of assistance.

Sometimes he hated that man…

_Of course, the only way I could really find that out if we were together would be for us to adopt children, and I don't think that would be fair to the kids. They should have a mother and a father, you know? A lot of the time kids like their father better or at least want his approval more, but they need their mother, too. Mothers do things that fathers wouldn't even think about, like changing diapers and cleaning up puke and stuff. I know I wouldn't want to do that._

A picture crossed Sasuke mind of Naruto in a maid's outfit and a gas mask, approaching a bunch of blonde-haired children with an outstretched mop, trying to herd them towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. He choked on his tea and hurriedly moved on to the next paragraph.

_So, really, the only way I could find that out would be if you married a girl, which completely goes against everything I want. But I think you would be happier if you had a family, since you lost yours, and I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to restart your clan – try again, kind of thing. Everyone needs a family to love, right?_

Sasuke stopped, surprised. That was completely unexpected, coming from Naruto. He couldn't imagine Naruto being so… caring. So understanding. It was… just a little bit… endearing. And more than a little bit unnerving.

_I guess you would be happier without me._

_No, no – I know you would be._

Sasuke blinked. Hadn't Naruto been the one who just told him that he was in love with him? Was he giving him up so quickly?

_Ha, would you look at me! I go from laughing about crazy women and their kids to half-bawling my eyes out that you would be better off without me. Kami, I'm such a baby. I knew when I wrote my first letter that you would never love me like I loved you. I knew that. I KNOW that._

_So why does it hurt so much to admit it? Why is it so damn hard to write it down?! I don't WANT to accept it, damn it, but I know I have to. For you. Everything – anything – for you. Anything that would make you happier. That's the – the horriblest part of being in love with someone. You can be completely miserable, but if it makes them happy you'll just keep on doing it._

_Sorry. I'm smudging the ink, getting the paper all wet like this – I think it's time for me to stop writing._

_U. NARUTO_

Sasuke sat and looked at it for a little while. Naruto… was really upset about this. It was a strange concept – Naruto shedding tears over something. Well, Sasuke had seen him cry before, but that had been mostly when they were kids and the blonde was still a complete moron and cried over things that seemed completely trivial. But he was actually serious about this.

Very… disconcerting.

He opened the next letter and found an account of his training day with his team. There was no mention of what he was thinking or how he was feeling other than the comment that he disliked having to share his genin team with another jounin so that he could go on ANBU missions, but he didn't trust anyone else to take care of his ANBU team, either. There were three more letters like that, and he was in the process of opening the fourth when Kakashi appeared in his window and said they were going to go out with some of the others for sake and food. It wasn't a question of whether or not Sasuke wanted to come along, it was the statement that he was going to go or Kakashi would spend the evening snooping around his house and bugging the hell out of him until he consented, and then they would go out even if it was two o'clock in the morning when he finally gave in.

Because Kakashi was just that kind of friend.

Sasuke hurriedly locked away the letters in a cabinet in his bedroom, hoping Kakashi wouldn't ask about them, and followed the other jounin to where a bunch of their friends had gathered at a bar. He spent the evening wondering about Naruto, and he was actually a little afraid that Naruto might do something brainless like get himself killed on his mission because he believed Sasuke would be better off without him.

He drank a lot that night.

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A/N: No, Naruto is not dead. No, he is not going to be dead. I DON'T WRITE CHARACTER DEATHS. I hate them with a burning passion. I just thought it was a rational fear for Sasuke to have. So – this is the third chapter, which I wrote in one day (actually, which I wrote inside of two hoursXD). Be happy, I updated really quick and I'm usually incapable of that! SO REVIEW ME WHILE MY ATTENTION SPAN LASTS!!!!

Also, I want your opinions on something. Now, including the first two letters Sasuke read, I have eight others that are aimed directly at Sasuke. I want to know what format you want these other letters in. So:

Each in their own chapter (So eight more chapters just with letters before Naruto returns)

With two or three in each chapter (Three or four more chapters before Naruto returns)

All eight letters briefly summarized in the next chapter (So just one more chapter until Naruto comes back)

All eight letters in one chapter after the last chapter of the actual story, so you can read them afterwards if you want, but you don't have to.

I'm asking because if you want to read all of them that's fine with me, but I don't want you to get bored with the story. Please tell me what you want, or I can't update!!


	4. Out of the Office, Out of the Window

A/N: Omigosh I got so many reviews!!! The warm fuzzy feelings are just bubbling over all over my keyboard. Cookies, cake, pie, candy, hugs, kisses, butterflies, puppies, kittens, rainbows and another chapter to all of the truly amazing, lovely, wonderful people who clicked that review button!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Oh, and the poll results are in:

For option #1, five votes.  
For option #2, twenty-two votes.  
For option #3, one vote.  
For option #4, one vote.

Majority rules, so for the next few chapters there will be two letters in each chapter. Thank you to everyone who answered my note!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just like using the characters for my own bizarre purposes. Plus, if you tried suing me over this story, you'd also have to sue half a billion other people for also writing fanfiction, and… well, it'd just be pointless. So… thpppbbbt to you.

Chapter Four: Out of the Office, Out of the Window

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I heard about your engagement today. You know that, I guess, since you were there. Everyone threw you two a party. Everyone was so happy. Sakura was so overjoyed, flashing her ring and her biggest grin – and she was crying. She was so happy she was CRYING. So were her parents. And they hugged you. And you let them._

_YOU. The Ice Prince. You smiled and held their daughter and they loved you as much as she did._

_You told me you wanted me as your best man. And you smiled._

_I love Sakura – she's as good a female friend as a guy could ask for. And – she's had her heart set on you since we were kids. I – won't begrudge her a happy ending. I won't begrudge YOU a happy ending. You deserve each other._

_You really do make a beautiful couple._

…

_Kami, I feel like I've just torn my heart out of my chest and beat its sorry ass with a hammer. I don't think I've ever felt so helpless before. And I HATE it… but it's for you. And anything for you… everything is for you._

…

_Ironic, huh. I'll be up there with you, at the altar – just on the wrong side. And you'll say 'I do' – just not to me. You'll lean down to kiss her at the end – you couldn't lean down for me, since I'm taller than you. She'll wear a beautiful silk kimono – you wouldn't catch me dead in a thing like that. She'll have flowers in her hair – I'd be lucky if I could get the blood out of mine._

_Kami, I'm jealous of a GIRL. How PATHETIC can I possibly get?_

_Sometimes I really hate you, Sasuke, for sinking me this low. Sometimes I really, really hate you. And then I think about the way you smiled at me – that way you smile just for me sometimes – and I have to tell you I'm happy for you, because I really am._

…

_And you want to know the worst part of it?_

_You and Sakura really do make a beautiful couple._

_U. Naruto_

Sasuke sat on the edge of his bed reading the letter for the millionth time. He had a bunch of them scattered across the table at the side of his room, and he'd been picking up a different one to read it every time he woke up, which had been often for the past little while. He knew he needed rest, but he couldn't seem to settle his mind. Only now it was six in the morning and the sun was up, so he figured he might as well get up and eat something.

Sasuke had been kicked out of his office a couple days ago. His boss had given him strict orders not to come back until he could focus, but his brain hadn't quite been able to organize itself yet. He couldn't help but think about how much he wanted Naruto to come back, and how much he dreaded it. And Sakura – he couldn't get it off his mind that maybe he was just on the rebound, just a little bit desperate because she'd broken off their engagement.

But that wasn't it. That just wasn't it. How many times had he blown her off to go hang out with Naruto (and not just any of his friends; only Naruto)? He couldn't just be upset about that. Most of the time he'd forgotten they were even engaged. She was probably already going out with someone else, not that he had a problem with that since they hadn't even been together that much when they were _together_. He wondered how she would react if he told her he was gay.

Hah. Knowing his luck, she probably wouldn't even be a little bit surprised.

He put on a kettle of tea and sat down, folding up the letter he'd brought with him and picking up another. Recognizing it as the one he'd titled 'Cats, dogs, and Sasuke' he smiled a little and rested his chin on his hand.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I just finished helping Kakashi feed his dogs, and I've been thinking. (Yeah, I know you must be ducking for cover after reading that. Shut up, jerk.) I was just wondering, why do ninjas have dogs in the first place?_

_No, no, just hear me out. I've actually thought about this. Now, ninjas are supposed to be stealthy, deadly, fast, and ruthless. That's true, isn't it? Now look at dogs. Dogs are messy, loud, and clumsy, no matter how much Kiba might argue otherwise. Sure they're good fighters, but they're just so UN-ninja-like. Why do we even have them?_

_I can answer my own question, too. Number one, cats won't let themselves be trained. Cats won't let themselves be trained. Cats are just exactly what ninjas need – they're silent, deadly, neat, strong, intelligent, and they would be great ninjas. But they just won't do what anyone else tells them. They're too proud._

_Number two, dogs are friendlier than cats. Not saying they're any gentler or less fierce in battle, but they tend to be better with people they know. Ninjas sometimes get obsessed with being killers, with blood and death and weapons and fighting and not wanting to hurt the people they love so they stop going near them. I know I've more than once wanted to cut my fingers off when I kept finding dried blood under my nails. Ninjas NEED dogs. They NEED creatures they can't hurt, creatures they can show love to, creatures that will love them back and keep them from going through with it when they want to take that bloody kunai and shove it through their own throat._

…

_You remind me of a cat._

There was a tap on his window. He growled and forcibly restrained himself from crumpling the paper in his hand. "Go away, Kakashi! Don't you have anything better to do at this time of day?" he shouted. Kakashi had been bothering him more than usual since his boss kicked him out of the office – the silver-haired man said he was worried about the young jounin, but Sasuke got the feeling he was just amused by the fact that Sasuke had been reduced to lazing around all day just because he couldn't concentrate.

The window opened, and Kakashi stepped inside. Sasuke threw a pen at his head. Kakashi ducked and grinned (his one visible eye crinkled shut) and put some tea-bags in the kettle as the water boiled, taking it off the stove and setting it down on the table. "Is there ever anything better to do than visit my favourite student?"

"I'm not your student anymore," he snapped and gathered his two letters against his chest. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Tea?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he took the cup offered him. Kakashi always acted as if this was his house, and he was the host offering his guest tea. Keeping his peripheral vision on the other man, he continued reading his letter.

_Okay, just think about it – cats are beautiful, neat, aloof, intelligent, stealthy, and deadly. Now look at you. You've always known you were gorgeous, and so has everyone else. As for aloof, when we were kids I seriously thought your vocabulary consisted of 'hn' and 'dobe,' and you could peel paint with your 'leave me alone I'm an Avenger __and I don't have time for you lowly mortals' glare. You're well-organized, a genius (always have been and, until senility hits, always will be), and if you need evidence for stealth and deadliness you just have to look at the list of Bingo Book criminals the Black Ops hasn't had to worry about to see how good you are._

_I'm not sure if your being a cat is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, cats are all well and good, but when it comes right down to it they're not the best of companions. They like to be alone, they attack each other to show affection, and if they want to be paid attention to they'll simply waltz right in and demand it of you. If you don't just hand over everything they want, you'll pay for it dearly._

…

_Yeah, that's you._

_Of course, cats also have soft fur and pretty eyes and when they really like you they'll take a lot of shit before they kill you. They put up an irritated front, but deep down they know they'd kill anyone who tried to hurt their possessions, aka friends. And sometimes – just sometimes – you get to have the enormous privilege of having them sit on your lap and purr while you pay very close attention to their every twitch since they are obviously the center of your universe and you're being granted a huge favour by being allowed to be in their presence and touch them._

…

_Kami, I hate staying 'just friends.' But of course I'd rather die than tell you I'm madly, hopelessly in love with you and have you reject me. I might wish for some things, but I understand that I have to live in reality, and in reality you are my friend first and my crush second._

_Kami I hate the stupid fucking real world. Someone kill me now._

_Well. Cats, dogs, Sasuke – they're all soft and cute, so who the fuck cares either way? Maybe I'll just get a pet and get over this whole 'love' thing._

_Yeah. Like hell I will. But a guy can dream, can't he?_

_U. Naruto_

He smiled, but quickly strangled the expression when he caught Kakashi's amused expression. "A secret admirer?" the other man asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Sasuke snarled and folded the letter up. "As if I'd be happy about that!" he snapped, feeling his face heat up.

Kakashi grinned again. "Ah, then it's someone you know! Here, let me see that – "

Sasuke jumped out of his chair as Kakashi reached for the letter in his hand, only an exceptional amount of balance and ninja training keeping his tea in his cup and his cup in his hand. Kakashi's grin widened, and Sasuke froze as he realized his mistake.

"So it _is_ someone you know. Well, well, now, I wonder who it could be?" the silver-haired jounin finished up his tea and got up to leave. Sasuke could only stare at him until he reached the window, and then he could only throw his cup at the back of the man's head as he jumped out the window.

He sat down heavily on the floor and slammed his fist on the floor. "Well, damn. I can't believe I fell for that!"

Oh well. It was only four days until Naruto came back, so Kakashi would find out soon enough, anyways.

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A/N: So. Chapter four. I wrote this all in one go, after I got the votes in on the format, so… here it is!! Or rather was, since you probably read the story before you read this note, unless you're doing it from back to front, in which case you are very odd and should start at the top instead because then it would probably make a lot more sense.   
…Ahem. Sorry about that-.-'. Hope you enjoyed.


	5. Impossible

A/N: I love Kakashi a lot, so here's more of him being his little twerpy self. This chapter is different since it's just dialogue between Sasuke and Kakashi and the letters are kind of short, but I still like it. Enjoy!

A/N2: I would like to clear something up for you lovely people who are reading my story. You seem to have gotten the impression that I don't update very often because I have writer's block, but this is not the case. Thank you for all your wonderful ideas, but I know exactly where this story is going (even the ending, which I usually have trouble writing!).

As I said in one of the other chapters, I just have an extremely difficult time focusing. That's the honest truth, I swear. I get distracted so easily… I tell you I've got literally hundreds and hundreds of stories going right now. I have a really hard time keeping my attention on any one of them for more that a few days at a time. Oh, my poor fuzzy brain… I apologize for inconveniencing everyone. I really am trying!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! (Bawls eyes out)

Chapter Five: Impossible

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I've been trying my hand at poetry today. Here, take a look at this._

_Shall I compare thee to a winter's day?  
Thou art more lovely and more cold  
Rough winds thy frosted flowers do not dismay  
And winter's lease takes itself far too bold_

…_It's a bit awful, isn't it. Well, maybe trying to twist the classics for my own purposes isn't such a good idea._

"So… is it Ino?"

The rustle of papers and clothing shifting position. A sip of tea. "She's married, Kakashi. You remember Chouji and their twins?"

"Hinata?"

"She's married to Kiba. You went to their wedding. They had a daughter a few months ago."

"Hmm. Tenten, then."

"Married. Neji'd break my legs if I even thought about her wrong."

"…Kurenai?"

"Excuse me for sounding like a girl, but eww. She's way too old for me. Even you should know that."

"…Anko?"

"Do you actually have a brain?"

_Maybe I should try writing my own, hmm? I've got it all lined up in my head, you and your winter day, but I'm not sure how to put it on paper… Well, look at this one and see what you think._

_Where your feet tread ice springs through the grass  
Your fingers leave icicles on branches  
And swirling jack frost on windows  
Your tears fall as snowflake lace  
And your anger brews the blizzard storms  
The bubbling brook is no match for your icy gaze  
In your embrace life flutters  
And dies, fragile as glass…_

_It doesn't rhyme, really, but I like the images in my head – __Sasuke the winter-sprite, prince of ice, beautiful as death._

_Heh. I wax poetic 'round the witching hour, love! _

_Oh, shut up. You try getting up at 3am, staying awake all day, and then still being coherent by midnight!_

_And now, my love, to sleep the sleep of the dead, till that fateful hour when my Lady Hokage calls upon me to once more bloody my hands in her favour – at which time I shall pull the pillow of slumber across my face and tell her to screw off._

_U. Naruto_

"Okay, so… how about Lee? He's not married."

"…I realize you're mentally challenged, but even so – jeez, Kakashi, that's just creepy. That'd be like you and Gai." Shudder.

"You make a very good point… Oh, I've got it! Shino! He's quiet, probably thoughtful and a great listener and that kind of thing."

"He's a guy."

"So is Lee. You didn't say anything against that with _him_."

"Yeah, but – I mean – it's just – I said it was creepy, didn't I? That encompassed the whole concept. I'm not gay!"

"Mmhm, right, right, of course…"

"I'm not!"

"I believe you. Really."

"Oh, shut up, you moron. I'm going to ignore you." A different paper picked up, unfolded, held close so that the other can't see it.

"You go for that, my boy."

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I just found something out about Kakashi and Iruka today. I'll give you three tries to guess what it is._

…_Nope._

…_Nuh-uh._

…_Wrong!_

_Okay, okay, no need to get impatient._

_They're gay. Together._

"…Hm… You know what; I think I know who it is."

"Do y'now."

"I thought you were ignoring me."

"I was. But I've never been able to ignore idiots."

"I know. Especially in regards to a certain blonde, hmm?"

Silence.

"Haha, I knew it! You're in love with Naruto, you're in love with Naruto!"

"No I'm not!"

"You answered a little too quickly there for me to believe you."

"Well what do you expect me to do? Wait ten minutes? I'M NOT GAY, DAMMIT!!" Growl. A fist slammed down on the table-top, grumbling just quiet enough to go unheard.

_Kinda weirded me out at first, but hey, who am I to talk? At least they haven't really been trying to hide it._

_Guess how I found out? Walked in on them making out in one of the classrooms after school was out. Initially I had intended on gouging my eyes out with a spoon when I saw them, but poor Iruka just seemed so embarrassed and he was apologizing like hell so I had to take pity on him. Kakashi, of course, just laughed and started teasing Iruka about still being so modest after everything he'd done to him, and then Iruka blushed so red I thought his face was going to burn off. _

_I haven't had a laugh like that in the longest time._

"It's okay. I believe you, Sasuke."

"No you don't."

"You think I'm not telling the truth?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

"I'm hurt, Sasuke."

"Shut up."

_Once he stopped blushing Iruka told me they'd been together for eighteen years – can you imagine being with someone for such a long time? Can you imagine the commitment that would take? And to still be so in love after all that time that they act like teenagers, making out in public – they've gotta love each other a hell of a lot. It's mind-boggling. You know the kinds of things they'd have to put up with? Living with the same person day after day, year after year, with their bad habits and their cold feet in bed and the stormy days when they want to kill someone and with Kakashi's dogs and Iruka working late to mark papers and – just, everything._

_I'd like to have a go at that – if it was the right person. If it was you._

"…So, what's he writing about?"

A low growl to hide a rising blush.

"What? It's an innocent enough question, Mr. I'm-Not-Gay. And besides, that's his handwriting. I'd recognize that scrawl anywhere."

"That's why it took you so long to guess it was him, right?"

"So it IS Naruto!"

"Shut _up, _dammit!"

"Look, if they're not love letters, then there's no harm in telling me what he's saying, is there?"

"It's just… personal."

"Ooooooh."

"Will you just stop it already?! I'm not in love with him!"

"You don't have to be ashamed, you know. I'm in love with a man, too."

"Number one: too much information. Number two: Likening me to you is not making me feel better. Number three: I already knew about the two of you. So there."

_I wonder about your bad habits. I wonder what you do in private, when nobody's watching you. I wonder if you'd let me see those things, if we knew each other so well that there didn't have to be ANYTHING hidden between us – if we were so close that it just didn't matter anymore. I'd love to find out what weird things you did and know that I was the only one who knew about them – that I was the only one you trusted enough to show them to._

_I wonder if you would put up with me leaving my clothes everywhere and never waking up on time and never handing in my mission reports and summoning frogs in the middle of the living room. I wonder if you would put up with my blood obsession, with me dragging my team into the house every day because I love them like my own kids and I don't want them to grow up so I feed them ice cream and cookies in the futile effort to keep them acting like five-year-olds._

…_Although if I really think about it, I can't even see how I put up with me, let alone how you could._

"…You're impossible, you know."

"_I'm_ impossible?! You're the one who won't leave me alone!!"

"That's because I know you're lying."

"Just leave me alone!"

"Don't make me get Gai over here and talk to you about the youthfulness of love – and you know I will."

"Oh, please, no!"

"You're forcing me to desperate measures!"

"All right! All right. I admit it. I'm – I'm in love with Naruto. I love him. Now please, _sit down._"

"Good boy. I knew you'd come to your senses. But as much as I would love to stay and chat, it's my turn to make dinner and I've got to pick something up from the market because the last time Iruka ate my cooking I had to take him to the hospital."

"I believe you."

"…Why do I get the feeling that you really do believe me?"

"Because I do."

"Ah. Well, goodbye, Sasuke."

"Yeah, yeah, get out. Bastard."

_I'd love to have the chance to put up with you for the rest of my life, stubbornness and arrogance and all. I'd love to have the chance to love you for the rest of my life._

_Yeah. A guy can dream, at least. You're mine in my dreams._

_U. Naruto_

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A/N: I wanted this chapter to be a little more light-hearted, hence the poetry and KakaIru. I'm going to warn you now that the next chapter will be much darker, but it will also contain the very last two letters, so we have to get through it in order to bring Naruto home. Bear with me!

**A/N2 (THIS IS VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ IT!!!!!):** This will probably be my last update for the next two-and-a-half weeks or so because I'm going to stay at my grandpa's place on Tuesday, which is about fifteen or twenty hours away. I love him a lot, but he thinks _computers_ are evil, so I'm not even going to think about introducing him to shounen-ai (that would be very, very scary O.O). So please be patient, and I'll try to update quick when I get back!


	6. Ink, Blood, and Tears

A/N: Okay, I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, everyone. I had so much fun on my trip – I got to climb a mountain and shoot an elephant gun and haul wood out to Gilbert (I still don't know who he is, but we gave him a truckload of firewood…) and get lost in a forest and get dragged through a sand-pit barefoot by an enormous dog and we went shopping because my grandma likes buying us stuff and we went sailing on Lake Superior in an actual sail-boat and my sister's fiancé was almost eaten by a bear (he was sleeping in a tent outside and the bear tried to get into his tent but my grandpa heard it and scared it away)! And then we drove in the car for twenty-four hours, so I'm really exhausted and I'd like to sleep but not until I get this chapter up. So! Here's the story.

**A/N:**** All right, I lied. There will not be two letters in this chapter. This is because I was trying to write another letter, but I can't really think of how to say what I wanted to write, and I wanted to post this quickly so I can bring Naruto home, already, and as much I like writing the letters it's getting very hard to do that without making Naruto sound even more pitiful than he already is. You see, I've got this very deep inner desire to write super-uke male characters, but I hate people who write them like that because its NOT IN-CHARACTER, DARN IT!!! So I'm fighting with myself to keep Naruto as in-character as humanly possible. Therefore, one letter. **

**Don't worry if you don't understand my logic for that. Just read the chapter and know that there is only one letter in it. But it's a pretty long letter, so… it's not that bad, right?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. So there. Nnnn! (I stuck my tongue out there, but it's hard to convey that on paper…)

Chapter Six: Ink, Blood, and Tears

Night had come via a blazing sunset full of reds and golds and pinks and purples, followed by the tiny, diamond-cold pinpricks of stars and the pale sickle-moon rising over the tree-tops in a brilliant silver display. The bluish-white light slanted across Sasuke's pillow, which was his in-denial excuse for not being asleep at two in the morning. The real reason – the one twisting his stomach in a knot and shredding his nerves like paper – was that Naruto's team was supposed to be home tomorrow and his last letter was giving Sasuke the impression that Naruto might not be coming with them.

He was using the moonlight to re-read the letter. It probably wasn't his brightest idea ever, since the light was very dim and it was hard on his eyes, but this was not the kind of thing you read while sitting comfortably tucked in bed with the lamp on. There were three pages to this one. The envelope was covered in bloody fingerprints, and the first page (they were numbered) was a mess of ink and blood and violent, spiky writing.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I just got back from my – _here the words 'massacre,' 'murder,' and 'assassination' were scribbled ferociously out – _mission. I can't write down too many details – _

_Kami, Sasuke, I can't even remember most of what happened – _

_They were off. They SO far off. They said their security information was accurate, right down to the last kunai._

_There was hardly a fight – it was just a slaughter. My team – _

_I wasn't allowed to go back for my team. We're not allowed to go back for our teams._

_It was just a slaughter. Yoshao got the scrolls – died as he put them in my hand. Endoe, Taiki, Hirotaro, Misao, Hashira – all dead. Murdered. I – we – they were so far off – we were lucky – we were lucky just to make it out alive, Jamura and I – we were lucky – we should be glad – glad our team-mates laid down their lives – glad – THEY DIED AND WE GOT AWAY AND WE SHOULD BE FUCKING GLAD WE'RE EVEN ALIVE – _

The writing dissolved into scribbles and blotches of dried ink and blood; the paper was torn where Naruto had pressed down too hard. Sasuke put that one aside and pulled out another paper from the envelope. The writing on this one was tiny and shaky, but neat. There were no scribbles, no blood, and no wasted ink on this sheet, but the words got bigger and spikier as they reached the bottom of the page.

_I'm sorry. I just – I'm okay now. I washed all the blood out of – everything. I guess that's why the uniforms are black – it's easy to get the blood stains out, or at least it's harder to see them when they won't come out. Hahaha…_

_You wanna know something really damn stupid, Sasuke? I hate blood. I hate it more than anything. It gets everywhere – under your fingernails, in your hair, into the little grooves of your skin, dries on your eyebrows, eyelashes, and arm hair, drips down your legs and has to be scrubbed off your ankles and toes…_

_I really fucking hate it._

_Didn't use to, you know. And it's not like I'm afraid of it. It's just that, as I've gotten better at killing, my desire to keep people's blood inside their own bodies has increased. I don't want their blood – I've got enough of my own, thank you._

_Must seem really stupid, when you consider the fact that I'm an ANBU captain. You'd think that if I didn't like it I'd just quit, you know?_

_You'd think that, wouldn't you._

_Ha. But, you see, I don't do that, cuz that's the kind of thing a smart person would do, a person not drowning in blood every other day, a person who wouldn't fall in love with his best friend, a person who wouldn't just sit around and complain about it. It's just not the kind of thing I would do._

_Yeah, I'm a brainless dobe, and proud of it._

…_No. The real reason? I wouldn't trust anyone else to take care of my team._

_Someone else might not hate it as much.  
Someone else might jump in killing everything in sight.  
Someone else might not care about the blood under their nails._

_Not that I did the best job of it tonight… They're all dead._

_Kami, I wish it were harder to write that down. I wish it was damn near impossible to form those letters, to drag my pen across the paper. I wish it hurt. I wish my fingers bled to write those words. But it doesn't, and they don't._

_They're dead. See? They dead they're dead they're dead they're dead they're dead they're – _

_Damn it, that's the second pen I've snapped tonight. Where the hell are the hot nurses with cyanide when you need them?_

_And why the hell is it that whenever I write to you I end up shaking/crying/depressed?! Kami, if I'd just ignore the damned paper and pen and stop thinking about YOU, I'd be Little Mr. Fucking Sunshine! So you know what? Screw you!! I don't need you fucking up my life – I do a good enough job of that myself, thank you very fucking much!!_

There was another new page in the envelope. Once again the writing was far neater on this page, and it stayed neat right up until the end. To Sasuke, Naruto's writing seemed almost tired.

_I'm sorry. I'm just – a little unsteady right now. It's not your fault I'm depressed. I'm grown up now; I can admit responsibility for my own actions and emotions. If I really wanted to I could pull myself out of this and if I don't then it's my own fault. I'm just – I'm just sick of doing this alone. I'm sick of hiding things because that's what I've been trained to do, and if I don't hide I'm scared that something will go horribly wrong._

_Sometimes I feel so tired. I'm tired of hiding, and being miserable, and killing people and not being bothered by it except to know that I WANT to be bothered by it. I – I need to TELL someone. But I can't because I'm Naruto the ANBU captain and blood doesn't bother me and the fact that I'm training a bunch of little kids to be murderers doesn't bother me and the fact that I'm in love with my best friend doesn't bother me – no, not at all._

…_Aw, screw this. That's it. I'm done. I'm going to go to sleep, show up late for training with my kids tomorrow, and next week I'm going to go on a two-month-long mission to Mist country, leaving my team in the hands the of that incompetent moron Tomaru. (If they're not in the best damn PERFECT shape when I get back, that bastard is NEVER GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN. I'll make sure of that.) So… I'm just doing to go. Maybe those two months will clear my head. Maybe I'll be able to sort all this shit out before I come home. Maybe if I stay away from you long enough I'll be able to unknot my brain._

_And maybe pigs will fly and squirrels will take over the world._

_U. Naruto_

Naruto had to come back. He _had_ to. Sasuke had been in denial for so long – the blonde had to at least give him this one last chance to make things better. To make them _right_. If Naruto never came back… If he became just another name, carved in stone…

Well, there was another place for Kakashi and him to hang around together. Obito, Naruto… maybe Iruka could join them and they'd mourn his parents, as well… Kakashi and Iruka were lovers, so maybe they did that already.

Damn it. He really didn't need to think about lovers right now. He really didn't _want _to.

Sasuke put all three papers back in their envelope and lay face-down on his pillow. He started to drift of to sleep, but as it had happened every single time for the past few hours, the image of Naruto's team-mates carrying their captain's still body through Konoha's gate jerked him awake with an adrenaline-shock of fear. He cursed and pulled the first sheet out of its envelope again, ignoring the pricking pain in his eyes as he struggled to make out the words on the paper.

He wasn't crying. The moonlight was simply dim, and it was hard on his eyes.

_And maybe pigs will fly and squirrels will take over the world._

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A/N: …Please stop looking at me like that… I TOLD you this chapter would be darker than the last one… And at least Naruto is coming home next chapter, right?


	7. Homecoming

A/N: I can't tell you how much I adore all of you who have reviewed – you boost my spirits so much. I couldn't make myself continue without you. You make it all worth it. 

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, please and thank you. Love ya darlings!

Chapter Seven: Homecoming

Sasuke didn't quite know what to expect when Naruto returned. His head was full of unfledged ideas, half-formed sentences and explanations and haphazard little snatches of declarations of love reminiscent of those Lee had often given to Sakura when they were younger (he wondered vaguely if she was going to start going out with Lee now that she didn't have to trail along after Sasuke, but shook it off.)

Pretty much the only image that really stuck in his mind was Naruto trudging into the village with his head down and his hands in his pockets, sullenly considering suicide as he thought about how long it would take to get all the blood out of his clothes and hair. Judging from his last letter, that had been exactly the mood the blonde had been in when he left, and after two months of spying, infiltration, assassination, running, stealing, and fighting, Sasuke couldn't imagine his mindset changing.

In his head, Naruto would trail in a little bit behind his team, with distressed eyes focused on the road until he realized someone was there waiting for him, and then push a fake smile on his face. He had a general idea in his head that he was going to comfort his friend and maybe tell him he'd read the letters, and then they'd spend the next little while being insanely happy and telling each other they were in love. Sasuke would tell Naruto he didn't have to stay in the ANBU if he hated it so much, and Naruto would be so happy that he would go and quit right then and never have to go through any more bloodbaths every again.

Somewhere in his head something was telling him things probably weren't going to work out quite like that, but he was a little desperate so he kept telling himself that there was no other way it _could_ go.

He didn't know exactly what he was going to do, but he'd packed all the letters into a bag and had it slung over his shoulder as he waited for the ANBU team to come down the road (Naruto always led his team in through the front gate; he didn't see any point in being secretive about their return, unless they were all completely soaked in blood and therefore liable to frighten small children/give old people heart attacks).

He hadn't counted on the singing.

He could hear it a long time before he could see the singers – if they could be called singers without outright lying. It was more that they were screaming at the tops of their lungs in what was probably meant to be a joyful way, with Naruto's unmistakable voice overpowering the others most of the time. When they finally came out of the forest and approached the gate, Sasuke could see that all four ANBU members had their masks tied to their belts, worn knapsacks thrown over their shoulders, and their arms linked. Naruto, marching in the middle, had the biggest, sunniest grin imaginable slapped across his face. Occasionally they would skip a few steps, start laughing, and trip over each other as if they weren't some of the most dangerous ninjas alive. "Ba bada-ba ba ba-ba, da wada ba ba ba – come on, Suri, sing louder!! I can hardly hear you!! Bada ba-ba wa da da da ta bada-daaaaaa!!"

Sasuke stared in utter bewilderment until Naruto sighted him and his expression, if it was even possible, got even brighter. He broke off from his group and sprang into a run, and before Sasuke could react he'd been enveloped in an enormous bear-hug. "Sasuke-chan!! Oh _Kami_ you have no idea how glad I am to see you I could just kiss you of course I could kiss the ground too because I'm so damn happy to be home but my team told me I shouldn't do that because either I would get sick or they would shove dirt down my throat so I won't do that but _Kami_ I missed this place so much and do you know how hard it is to find a decent ramen shop in Mist country I tell you it's bloody impossible and speaking of ramen I'm taking you out for ramen and you have to tell me about every single little thing that's been happening here and _Kami_ I'm so glad to be home and oh I gotta find my team _Kami_ I haven't seen them in such a bloody long time – hey, hey, I'll meet you down at Ichiraku and I'll bring my kids and we'll all catch up!! See you in a couple minutes Sasuke-_chaaaaan_!!" Naruto babbled all in one breath, then darted away again, disappearing over the rooftops of the village.

Sasuke stood immobile for a couple minutes, attempting to translate what had been said and holding on a little desperately to his bagful of letters. One of Naruto's team-members smiled sympathetically and handed him a bottle. "You'll need that if you're going to spend the next few hours with him," she said gently, trying to penetrate his confusion. "He's been like that ever since we left Mist."

Sasuke nodded slowly and blinked at the bottle. It was full of aspirins. He nodded again and turned to carefully make his way to Ichiraku Ramen.

This… wasn't turning out quite like he'd planned. They were supposed to be kissing by now. In a daze, he sat down to wait and tried to work out what had happened.

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Naruto opened his door, stepped inside, closed the door behind him, and sagged against it with a relieved sigh. First meeting with Sasuke: successful. He was nicely bewildered, hadn't apparently taken any notice of the kiss reference, and had submitted to physical contact beyond initial irritation methods such as poking. Perfect.

He glanced around. Nothing was out of place, as expected; he'd gotten the lady next door to come in and water his plants every once in a while, and they were looking very green and healthy. He smiled at them, went over to touch their leaves, and whispered a greeting. "Hey guys. Looking good."

Picking his way through the wreckage that was his living room, he moved into his bedroom and peeled off his ANBU uniform. Blood and sweat had stuck it to his skin, so it pulled out more than its share of arm and leg hair. He cursed at it a bit and threw it in the clothes-hamper, then headed into the bathroom to sponge off the worst of the road-dust with a damp cloth. He went back into his room and stood for a while looking at the clothes in the closet. "Way too much black," the blonde pronounced after a minute. He put on some long, fingerless gloves and pulled an old white t-shirt off of the top shelf, slipping it over his head. It smelled a little musty, but at least it wasn't black.

Naruto used the window to get out into the street and headed for the training grounds to look for his team.

When he came, Miko and Kyru were sitting in the shade under a tree, watching as Tomaru tried to lecture it into Daisari's head that he really _needed _train harder because sitting around all day being lazy wasn't going to get him anywhere. Naruto leaned against the tree and shook his head. Lecturing didn't motivate Daisari. Nothing motivated him, to be honest, unless it was being told that his sensei really _was_ aiming for him and really _wasn't_ going to miss. Then he became surprisingly fast and surprisingly intelligent and surprisingly _well-motivated_. Naruto had been rather proud of himself for discovering that, since even Shikamaru was baffled by the boy. Shikamaru and Daisari shared a love of watching the sky, but Daisari preferred stars to clouds, and he hated games, which included shogi. He did, however, enjoy sleeping. It was his main hobby, and he would do just about anything as long as he could continue to live and therefore continue to count it as a hobby.

"Y'know, Tomaru, it's been my experience that when a kid's staring that intently in the opposite direction from you, they're very pointedly _not hearing _a single word you say." Naruto called. Miko and Kyru jumped, and Tomaru whirled around and then immediately pretended he hadn't been at all surprised. Daisari gave him a languid little wave movement of his hand and went back to staring at the opposite end of the field.

"You! What are you doing here!" the man snarled.

Naruto grinned, feeling pleased at having made the other jounin angry. "Well, let's think about that, shall we? I live in Konoha, I'm a ninja sensei, these are training grounds, and – would you look at that! Children! Children, who I can teach! Lovely how these things all piece themselves together when you think about them." He gave a fake-happy sigh and clasped his hands in front of his chest. Tomaru subsided into a glare at his obvious sarcasm.

Miko finally gathered enough composure to jump to her feet and hug him. "Sensei! We're so happy to see you! How did your mission go?" she smiled up at him, blue eyes sparkling. She and her brother had inherited their mother's build and eyes, and their father's red-brown hair. They were tall and willowy, and Miko wore her hair loose and cut to her jaw-line, while Kyru wore his shoulder-blade-length and tied at the base of his skull. Daisari had his mother's hair and eyes, but he looked like his father, including his bored frown and perpetual slouch. Naruto couldn't have loved them more if they'd been his own children.

"Oh, pretty well, as far as missions go. But I'm a lot more interested in how you've been doing, my darlings," he tapped her nose and reached down to ruffle her brother's hair where he still sat in the grass. "Been giving Tomaru hell, have you?" he aimed this question at Daisari, whose unofficial second-favourite hobby was irritating their substitute teacher. The boy glanced at him, dark eyes sparkling for once instead of being dull with boredom and gave a lazy salute in acknowledgement of the comment.

"You look like shit," Kyru said easily, getting to his feet. "Don't you ever sleep?"

Naruto batted him on the head for swearing and grinned. "Of course not! There's way too much stuff to do. Well, come on, kids, I don't want to keep Sasuke-teme waiting, and I want to hear all about _everything_ that's been happening!"

Tomaru huffed in anger and grabbed Daisari's arm as he started to trail after his team. "Excuse _me_! These children are not yours to command until tomorrow, Uzumaki!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him. "Who said I was commanding them?"

"We're in the middle of _training._" Tomaru snapped.

Naruto glanced at Miko and Kyru, who had twin expressions of exasperation, and Daisari, who was regarding Tomaru's hand on his arm like someone who was very soon going to maybe consider that he should maybe stop being lazy. Maybe. If a better option didn't present itself.

"Actually, it looked like you were taking a bit of a rest so you could talk to the back of Daisari's head. And as much as I'm sure the back of his head appreciated your advice, I think _my_ students look rather hungry, and I'd like to spend a little time with them since I've been gone for two months. _If_ you don't mind." He said this dangerously, with a cold little smile on his lips. He'd never much liked Tomaru, which Naruto suspected was the reason the Lady Hokage had assigned him to Naruto's team, and he wouldn't reject an opportunity to fight him over something like this. They shared something like Kakashi and Gai's rivalry, only theirs didn't have any hints of friendship or camaraderie.

But Tomaru, unlike Naruto, could sense when a fight was coming and did his best to avoid it. He thought that, as ninjas of Konoha, they should get along as much as possible.

Weird man.

So Tomaru glared, but he let Naruto haul off his team, and they walked away, Miko latched onto Daisari's arm so he wouldn't fall behind, and Naruto's arm so she could more easily babble on about whatever it was she babbled about (Naruto could blither like anything, but it was his theory that teenage girls had a special sort of tongue that allowed them to talk just a little faster than the person they were speaking to could keep up with, so he never had any idea what she was saying). But he listened contentedly anyways, having been deprived of her buzzing in his ear for two months, and with Kyru walking impassively on his other side he led them along the street to where Sasuke was waiting in the ramen shop.

Sasuke's bewildered look had faded, probably in lieu of the fact that Naruto was bringing children to eat with them and he didn't want to lose face in front of them. Naruto was a little disappointed, although he didn't let it show; Sasuke was cute – or at least as close to cute as he ever got – when he was flustered. But he was as calm as ever now, although a little hyper-focused on his ramen, and seemed content to listen to Naruto banter with his team until it came time for the children to go home and sleep. Then they sat and Sasuke told him how people had been getting along. They talked a lot more quietly than Naruto had with the children, and the blonde man basked in having an actual conversation with a friend without having always to be worried about being overheard and having his cover blown by one wrong word.

He went home later than he probably should have seeing as he'd been traveling all week with very little rest, but there was a deeply exhausted kind of happiness settled on his shoulders that promised a deep, restful sleep. Saying a quick goodnight to his plants as he watered them, he went into his room and climbed into bed without bothering to get undressed. First day back: successful. No out-of-place urges to kiss his best friend… no sudden depression at the thought of Sasuke and Sakura's marriage… nothing quite related to blood… had infiltrated his brain… and there had been no smilingly… knowing… looks from… Kakashi… telling him he knew… exactly what was going on… and wasn't going to… fall for any… fake smiles…

And then it was morning. Groggily Naruto pulled himself out of bed and went into his bathroom to splash water in his face. There would be no missions today – he'd just gotten back, after all. Tsunade would let him rest awhile. Or rather, she would force him to rest awhile. It was her personal opinion that he'd been working himself too hard, and if he didn't take a break of his own free will she would send someone to break his arms and legs so that he'd have to.

Funny, how she got even more vicious as she got older.

He got dressed, picking out a black muscle-shirt and pants, and told himself he really needed to go clothes-shopping and find something other than black. He was _sure_ he'd had other clothes before, but couldn't for the life of him think where they'd gone. A long black vest was placed over top of this, and he despaired of ever being anything except gothic, dressed in black and moping over his love life (or lack there of) and obsessing over blood.

Bah. He brushed it off and knelt in front of the chest at the end of his bed. He could at least take in those mission reports he'd been meaning to get around to delivering for months now, and today he'd get started on writing up his last mission's report. Maybe he'd even get it done on time…

He froze.

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"Uh… Iruka?"

The brown-haired man looked up from his paperwork-covered desk and smiled. "Naruto! I'm so glad to see you're home safe. Did everything go well?"

"Uh… yes, yes, it was fine, but I, uh, I actually came here to talk to you about my, uh, mission reports."

"Oh yes? What about them?"

"Uh… well, you see, this is going to sound weird, but I think someone stole them, because haha, you know, when I went to get them they weren't there… haha…" he rubbed nervously at the back of his head, grinning sheepishly.

Iruka was blank for a moment, and then smiled and shook his head, chuckling. "Naruto, didn't someone tell you? Kakashi sent someone in to get them when I told him it was his fault. I got them weeks ago."

Naruto blinked. "Uh? Oh. Right. Ah, you wouldn't, ah, know who he sent in, would you? Maybe?"

"Hmm… I think it was Sasuke, actually. He wasn't too pleased about it, but Kakashi wouldn't leave him alone until he did it. Honestly, you'd think a ninja of Kakashi's level could manage a little more subtlety… Naruto, are you all right? You look kind of pale. Would you like me to call a medic?" the older man stood up from his chair as Naruto fell against his desk, gasping for breath.

"S-Sasuke? Are you – are you sure? Iruka, please tell me – tell me you're lying to me. Please." He whispered desperately, remembering with growing horror how he'd acted yesterday, and how Sasuke had acted – oh Kami, he knew, he _knew_! How – how the hell was he supposed to face him now? Oh Kami, please say this was all some kind of sick joke…

Dammit, if it had been Kakashi he could have believed it was a prank, but with Iruka…

"Naruto, tell me what's wrong," Iruka said softly, his expression serious.

Naruto latched a hand onto the other man's shoulder and dragged him closer, looking at him desperately. "The letters, Iruka. _The_ letters. They're _gone_. They were addressed to _him_, Iruka. Right – right under the reports…" He felt like his lungs had suddenly shrunk and his head had expanded and filled with air, leaving him dizzy and breathless and unable to focus on his surroundings. His only anchor on the real world was his grip on Iruka's vest, and he just couldn't, couldn't let go of that, or all was lost…

He woke up in bed, remembered, and didn't get up again.

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The next day Sasuke went to Naruto's house to see if he could find him and try once again to talk to him, but the blonde wasn't there. He headed down to ANBU headquarters and was told he hadn't come in yet, and knowing Naruto he probably wouldn't for a while. After that he went to see if Kakashi had seen him (he had to exert some serious effort to keep from smacking that knowing grin off of the grey-haired jounin's face, even if it was hidden behind a mask), and was forwarded to Iruka.

Iruka looked at him carefully for a long minute when he asked about the blonde. Then, very softly, he said, "So you've read the letters."

Sasuke blinked, surprised and unsure of how to react. "Uh… excuse me?"

"Naruto told me about them a long time ago," the brown-haired man said calmly, shuffling some papers around. "And he was just here, wondering where they'd gone. And since Kakashi sent you in to get the reports…" he was silent for a while, neatening up his desk. Sasuke could only stare. Finally the chuunin stopped and folded his hands on his desk, giving Sasuke a cool look. "I want you to tell me what your intentions are towards Naruto."

The black-haired man shook himself, bewildered and disoriented. "W-What? Why?"

"He seemed unduly concerned when he found out what you'd done, which leads me to question your relationship with him."

"…'Unduly concerned?'"

"He passed out and wouldn't wake up. I had to carry him home." Iruka's voice was flat and less than friendly. People were giving them strange looks; Iruka was never cold and Sasuke was never confused. And to see them both in one place…

Sasuke blinked and turned away. Passed… out…? Naruto knew he knew, and he was frightened of it? But… but he'd written the letters! He _wanted_ Sasuke, didn't he? That was what he'd said. So why was he reacting so badly? Maybe… maybe he thought Sasuke was still in love with Sakura… Maybe he thought Sasuke was angry…

He turned and left, delved deeply into his own head. What had he expected? He hadn't spoken to Naruto at all about any of this, even when they were alone last night and they had a chance… Naruto must think he was disgusted beyond words… What was he going to do about that? He couldn't very well head over to Naruto's house and tell him, "Oh, it was all a big mistake; I'm actually in love with you."

He didn't see the tiny, self-satisfied smile on Iruka's face before the man went back to accepting and filing away mission reports.

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A/N: So… Naruto's home. And I updated very quickly. …Yay? Now my parents are angry at me because all I've done today is sleep and write. But I've updated, so it's all good. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. (this is just a reward for you waiting for the past couple weeks; thank you very much for being so patient.)


	8. Finally

_**NOTE: I AM GOING TO REWRITE THIS CHAPTER.**_ **I was not very pleased with this chapter when I wrote it, but I was starting to feel guilty about making you people wait so long for the ending, so I posted it. Since I have received a few reviews that say others agree that this chapter is not quite up to standard, I will be rewriting it to my satisfaction and hopefully yours. I will leave this up until I'm finished, so if you like it that's wonderful, and if you don't, I'll be making it better. Please don't hound me – I'm usually a very slow writer, and writing this entire story (even as short as it is) inside of a few months has very nearly killed me. PLEASE BE PATIENT, I'LL TRY MY BEST. Thank you. :)**

A/N: Okay, crew; this is the very last chapter of the story. So please read, review, and tell me everything you liked and hated, because this is your last chance to do it! I'm so happy to have Sasuke finally stop being an idiot, and yet at the same time I don't want to write the ending, because then I won't get to write the story anymore. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I HATE ENDINGS!!!!!!!

…Ahem. Sorry. On with the show, yeah? Oh, and this is a really, really long chapter. For me, at least. Which is why it took so bloody long to write, in case you were wondering (well, that and the fact that I'd been very distracted by this card game on my computer that I just figured out how to play – I'd write, like, two sentences and then think 'Ah, time for a card game!' …It's so bloody easy to distract me…D: )

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have made no profit from this, and no (fur-bearing) animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but I doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin Olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radio-isotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. Not intended for use by children or liberals under the age of five.

Chapter Eight: Finally

Sasuke didn't know what to do. He just didn't. Since his plans had consisted entirely of breaking everything to Naruto at the gate the day he came back, he was now blank and couldn't seem to come up with anything else that didn't take him so far out of his comfort zone that he'd probably start killing people out of anxiety. Feeling like a chicken running around with its head cut off, Sasuke could only wander aimlessly around his house, unable to think or plan or – or anything, really, except to make a lot of tea.

There were times when he wished he was a closer friend to Shikamaru, so he could have access to the man's strategic abilities.

All right. No. He had to be calm. He had to think. This wasn't really such a big deal, was it? All he had to do was – was – go over to Naruto's place and tell him –

…Maybe he should practice that part. To be honest, he'd never actually declared his love to anyone before – least of all his best friend.

He sat down and put his hands in his lap, taking a deep breath. "So… Naruto. I love you. No, no… I can't just _say_ it; he'd think I was mocking him or something… Naruto, I've been thinking a lot since I read your letters, and I think I'm – no, he still doesn't know about Sakura, he'll think I'm dumping her or something. He wouldn't want me to do that. Kami, how do I tell him what happened with her? He'll think I'm just going with him because Sakura dumped me. How am I supposed to explain that?" He crossed his arms and sat back, resting his head on the back of the couch.

His married friends were always complaining about the romantic chick-flicks their wives were always making them watch; had he ever done that with Sakura? Surely she of all people would have wanted to impress upon him the way she wanted him to behave by showing it to him, right? That would be such a big help right now. He… vaguely recalled something…

_They were sitting on Sakura's couch in the dark in front of the television. She had her legs curled up against her belly and her head rested contentedly on his shoulder. Sasuke was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, with one arm around Sakura and his other dangling over the arm of the couch. The movie had been playing for about half an hour, but there were no explosions or shouting or anything to keep his attention, and he'd had such a long day, and there were too many characters for him to keep track of in his half-conscious state, and the room was so invitingly dark, with Sakura warm and soft against his side…_

Damn it, the one time he had a chance to witness how people who were supposed to hate each other told each other they were in love (which, he'd gathered from the others, was the main point of movies like that), and he'd fallen asleep! What was he supposed to do now? It wasn't like he could call up Sakura and ask for her help! They – she – had just broken off the engagement. The wound, he expected, would still be too sore no matter what she said, and telling her he was in love with a man would not help the issue.

But she did have a great deal of knowledge on the subject…

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept well in several weeks, and now he had _this _to deal with… He'd be lucky if he got through this _awake_, let alone _alive_.

All right. Plan. Think. There had to be _something _he could do, something he could say…

Maybe he could write a letter back to Naruto! Copy his words, kind of thing, only put Naruto's name where Sasuke's was…

He hit himself in the forehead. Talk about a stupid idea – he was trying for honest, not corny, singing-love-songs-under-your-window-by-moonlight romantic! Can we say cheesy beyond all belief? "Cheesy beyond all belief…" the ninja muttered to himself, cradling his face in his hands and taking a deep breath. This shouldn't be so difficult. It was just three little words, and he already _knew _– well, he was pretty sure, at least – how Naruto felt in return! Sometimes – just sometimes – he wished he'd actually taken advantage of his fan-club and _practiced _once in a while…

"What's cheesy beyond all belief?"

Sasuke was too tired to even be surprised at the sudden presence of the other jounin. "Please leave me alone, Kakashi; I'm trying to be miserable and pathetic here, and it's very hard to do with you hanging around grinning at me all the time."

Kakashi ignored his words and sat down next to him on the couch. "You look glum, chum; what's your trouble? Loverboy not as eager as you thought?"

"I hate you _so much_ sometimes…"

"Ah. So I'm right, then."

"…You're lucky I'm so tired and miserable and pathetic right now, or I'd beat that smug grin into the floor."

"I'll just be glad you're so tired and miserable and pathetic right now, then, won't I. Come on, now; why don't you tell Kakashi-sensei what the problem is, and he'll help you along, hey?" an arm draped itself across his shoulders and patted the farthest one.

Both men were surprised when Sasuke actually leaned on him, resting his head on Kakashi's shoulder with a tired sigh. "I don't know what to do…" he mumbled, feeling Kakashi stiffen, then relax, and the arm around his shoulder tighten a bit. He was just so tired, and bewildered, and frustrated…

"All right. Well, why don't you fill me in? I'll try to help."

It was really very simple, even with the discomfort of revealing his thoughts and – feelings (Kami, he felt like such a girl, saying this kind of thing to _Kakashi_ of all people), and it took maybe ten minutes to explain everything.

"Hmm… you know, all I sense here is a lack of motivation." Kakashi said at the end.

Sasuke glared up at him. "I'm not Shikamaru, you know."

"Mm, yes… but if you actually put yourself in a situation where a response would be necessary from both of you, then a response would come, yes? You just won't put yourself in that situation. You lack the motivation."

Sasuke pulled away and stared at him. "There really isn't any point in talking to you, is there."

Kakashi smiled. "Now, now, Sasuke; you wanted some advice, and I gave it to you. Just dive right in; it'll come out right in the end."

"And what if it doesn't? He passed out just from hearing that I'd read the letters. I don't know about you, but that doesn't seem very promising to me!" he snapped.

Kakashi's expression went slightly colder, like he was getting irritated with trying to get his message across to someone so stubborn. "And did you think that maybe he's scared that his male best friend, who is engaged to one of his female friends, has not reacted in a particularly good way to his declaration? Use your head."

"But I'm not – oh." Sasuke looked away, frowning. He wasn't engaged any more… but Sasuke hadn't told that to the blonde, and to the best of his knowledge Naruto hadn't spoken to Sakura yet, either. So if no one told him, he couldn't know, could he?

Why hadn't he thought about that before?

"I can practically see the wheels turning in your head. It's very entertaining watching you young ones work out the obvious," Kakashi smiled, slapping Sasuke companionably on the back.

Sasuke glared at him. "I'm not exactly a teenager anymore, Kakashi."

"And yet you're still having teenage love problems, my dear little student."

"I'm not your student anymore, either."

"Of course not," Kakashi chuckled patronizingly and ruffled the other man's hair, disappearing in a puff of smoke before Sasuke could object.

Sometimes he really, _really_ hated that man.

Especially when he made sense.

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Sasuke checked around the blonde's door for somewhere a key might be hidden. He'd hoped at first that it would be unlocked, but Naruto really and truly did not want visitors, especially if one of those visitors was going to turn out to be an angry Uchiha or his jealous fiancé. The door was locked and, from what Sasuke could see through the window, barricaded from the inside.

He didn't find a key (which was to be expected if Naruto really didn't want anyone to come in), and sighed in resignation. He had no choice, now – he had to make it obvious that he wasn't 'just dropping by.' Around on the side of the building, Naruto's window was open, presumably to let in a breeze, not other ninjas. But he really shouldn't have been so careless – shinobi used windows about as much as doors.

Sasuke jumped up on the sill, stepped inside, and froze. Tranquil blue carpet and walls, silver-framed pictures of Naruto's team and Team 7, silver and blue lamp, silver and blue blanket with blonde hair sticking out from under it – oh. OH. Bedroom. Ah – not good. Not a good idea to be found in Naruto's bedroom. It wasn't a good idea to wake up an ANBU member – even a calmly sleeping one could take out your eye or remove a limb for you. People who woke up ANBU in hotels stood by the doorways in full body armor and threw pebbles until the person woke up, then turned and ran like hell. ANBU did not tend to be morning people. Sasuke made for the door, but stopped when a soft sound like a whine came from the bed. He glanced back.

Under the covers, Naruto had curled up; his head was out from under the blanket, along with his hands, which were clenched onto his pillow. For a second Sasuke thought he'd just shifted in his sleep, and for an instant he mistook the low growl for a snore, but when the kunai came out from under Naruto's pillow and he started thrashing against his blankets he recognized it for what it was.

Nightmares were not infrequent for ninjas, especially ANBU. The paranoia caused by being constantly on your guard carried over into your dreams – which was why some shinobi required medicine to sleep through the night undisturbed and in one piece (since they often slept with kunai and shuriken near at hand, it was entirely possible for them to actually dismember or kill themselves in their sleep).

Sasuke moved carefully to the side of the bed. He didn't want to let Naruto continue with his nightmare, but he didn't want to wake him up because that wouldn't chase the dream away; it would only put it on pause until the blonde fell back asleep. Plus, it would put them both in the awkward situation of having been found in the middle of murdering some presumably innocent pillows on Naruto's part and having entered his best friend's bedroom without permission _while he was there_ on Sasuke's. He'd just as soon avoid that.

He caught one wildly flailing leg with his hand and pinned it to the mattress with his knee, then made the dangerous grab for the hand holding the kunai. In any normal situation an ANBU would have woken up even before physical contact was made, but nightmares violent enough to make them actually grab onto their weapons were strong enough to make them believe they were already awake. So Naruto struggled against him, snarling and thrashing and trying to get the knife into Sasuke's throat with his eyes tightly closed, while Sasuke leaned down close to his friend's ear and started whispering desperately, trying to convince him to stop struggling – it was a lot harder holding the blonde down when he thought he was fighting for his life rather than when they were just sparring.

"Naruto! Naruto, it's all right. I'm here. Everything's all right. Nobody's hurt. There's nobody here to fight you. Nobody here. Just me. It's all right. You don't have to fight anymore, they're gone. They're gone," he repeated, his tone getting gentler and gentler as Naruto's struggling lessened, then stopped after about a minute. It took a lot longer than that for his muscles to relax and his breathing to slow down, and even longer for him to let Sasuke take the kunai from his hand, but at last it was done and Naruto was resting quietly amidst pillow stuffing and a tangled quilt and sheets.

Sasuke breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he put the knife on the bedside table, removed the torn pillow from the bed, and covered the blonde once more with his blanket. He sat there on the edge of Naruto's bed for a while, watching him sleep. And then he had a sudden impulse, and because he was tired and miserable and pathetic just then, he didn't bother to restrain it.

Naruto didn't wake up when Sasuke lay down next to him, although he stirred enough to make the other ninja hold his breath, but he settled once more and the black-haired man relaxed a little. For a while he lay propped up on one elbow, watching his friend's deep, even breathing, and started to feel a little sleepy himself. Almost without realizing it, he leaned down and rested his cheek on Naruto's shoulder – just for a minute, he told himself.

He could touch the blonde's skin like this because the other was only wearing a white muscle-shirt. His shoulder was warm and scarred from being repeatedly sliced open with kunai and shuriken, and smelled faintly of sweat and the odor-killer the ANBU used to avoid being tracked by nin-dogs. Sasuke moved a little, nosing lightly against the other's neck, where fine blonde hair tickled at his face. He wanted to snuggle right in and go to sleep – he'd explain everything tomorrow. He hadn't slept in days, and he was _so tired_…

Naruto shifted, turning on his side so that his back was to Sasuke, dislodging his guest from his shoulder. The black-haired ninja grumbled in his head and turned over as well, putting his back against Naruto's. All right, he could take a hint; he had to think of what to do, now that he knew where Naruto was but didn't really have it in him to wake him up and tell him what was going on.

Naruto's breathing was very deep and soft, and his body was warm and relaxed. Sasuke wanted to stay there forever. And… he had to find a way to keep it this way. Where they could sleep – well, not just sleep, but rest, and not have to be anxious or awkward together; where they could be together and trust each other and not have to smile (or scowl) just to keep up an act.

And right now he really, really wanted to kiss Naruto's skin – more specifically, right where his shoulder and neck joined.

Okay. Back to the subject. He could just wake Naruto up now and tell him he loved him; it would be very simple. But what if –

His skin was very soft, and he had a light brown tan that Sasuke very desperately wanted to run his fingers over.

Damn it, how was he supposed to think when his brain was turning to fuzz and mush, and Naruto was so warm against his back, and he hadn't slept in _so long_…?

And then it hit him. The Uchiha smiled slowly, sat up, and went to find a pen and paper.

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Naruto woke up and didn't open his eyes for a moment, listening to his surroundings and feeling around delicately for unfamiliar chakra signatures. It almost gave him a heart-attack when he identified the faint remains of Sasuke's chakra, and carefully peeked through his eyelashes. That was when he saw the envelope propped up on his bed-side table, _'U. Naruto' _written neatly across the front in Sasuke's hand.

He opened his eyes completely and stared at the envelope for a minute, half-expecting it to disappear before his eyes. Very, very slowly, he sat up and glanced around, cautiously reached for the paper, and with trembling hands removed the note from its envelope.

_Naruto;_

_I realize and completely understand your discomfort at our situation here, but I think it has gone far enough. Numerous times in your letters you stated that we were friends above all else, and I agree with you completely – I wouldn't want to end our friendship over this. I realize it may seem a little awkward for a while, but you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you._

_Meet me tonight at Icharaku; we'll have a drink and get this behind us, all right? I'll be there at eight thirty._

_Sasuke_

Naruto lowered the letter into his lap, face blank. _Best friends – FRIENDS forever. I understand. It may seem a little awkward. Icharaku. Let's get this behind us._ He sat there for half an hour, brain full of static, before glancing at the clock. Eight twenty. Had he really slept that long? And for an instant he was so completely consumed with hatred that he tore the note in a hundred tiny pieces, crumpled them up, and flung them across the room. He clutched his head in his hands and forcefully choked down the scream trying to tear up his throat.

But just like that it vanished, leaving him exhausted beyond tears or shouting or arguing. There was just no… no point anymore… He'd hidden this for so long, and now it was out in the open… They'd probably never be the same together. And after the marriage – and what if Sakura found out? He'd never be able to look her in the eye ever again. And her children… how could he ever look at her children…? But it didn't matter. It didn't matter, because now it was out in the open, and now he might really have to go through with those suicide threats he'd made in his writing. Or maybe, because he wouldn't want Sasuke to feel guilty about his death – he was never, never, going to hurt Sasuke – he'd just go on more S-class missions. After all, there had to be at least _one _extremely dangerous missing-nin out there strong enough to kill him. He'd just have to find the right one…

He took a deep breath and stood up. Going over to his closet, he pulled out the first shirt and pants he could find – black, of course; so much black – and changed. Bleakly, he climbed up on his windowsill and walked down the side of the building. He didn't bother hurrying to be on time.

At the ramen stand, Sasuke was sitting calmly, talking to the ramen-man's daughter. Naruto looked at them disconsolately for a minute before sitting down on the stool next to his… friend…

Sasuke glanced at him. "I'm glad to see you made it," he smiled, as if he couldn't see the miserable expression on the blonde's face, and poured Naruto a cup of sake. "Drink that while we wait for the ramen."

Naruto did as he was ordered, dreading in a fatalistic kind of way the time when Sasuke would bring up the subject of the letters and try to discuss them with him.

But it never seemed to come up. Whenever his cup was empty Sasuke would refill it, and Naruto would drink it, and when the ramen came they ate, and then Sasuke gave him more sake, and the cycle continued as Sasuke held a one-way conversation about the goings-on of the village. In a vague manner Naruto was aware that he was purposely being given alcohol in order to dull his senses, and for a second there flared in him the idea that someone was impersonating Sasuke in order to get past his defenses and kill him, but again, it didn't matter. It wasn't like it _could_ matter… Not now…

Sasuke was talking to him, and he was laughing, and he didn't know why. He had his arm across Sasuke's shoulder, and he couldn't quite figure out where the ground was and where he was supposed to put his feet. He vaguely recognized some buildings they were passing – they were heading to his house, huh? Probably because Naruto couldn't have made it on his own.

There was a blur, and they were standing outside his door. Sasuke was looking at him solemnly, but Naruto couldn't seem to stop giggling, and then the floor jumped out from under him and he fell face-first on the door, which was the floor for a minute, and then became the door again. He giggled.

A voice – probably Sasuke's – came to him as if from a long ways off. "Naruto, I need to talk to you." There was a hand on his arm, pulling him back into a standing position.

Sasuke's eyes were very black; they took up all of his sight. Moonlight glinted off the one side of them, sparkling brightly. There were no eyes prettier than Sasuke's. None in the world…

The floor leapt again as if trying to tell him he'd missed something, and he realized Sasuke had been speaking to him. He blinked. "Ehwaa…?" came his response, which was slightly less intelligent than he'd meant for it to be, but Sasuke smiled patiently and repeated himself.

"I love you."

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Sasuke watched as the blonde stared at him uncomprehendingly for a minute, blue eyes bright and bleary with alcohol, before he jumped and blinked, eyes suddenly wide. "You – yawat?"

"I. Love. You."

With Naruto as drunk as he was, Sasuke was pleased to find, it was so much easier to say this. And the several glasses of sake he himself had downed helped the process even more.

Everything was so much easier when everyone was drunk.

Naruto's mouth dropped open, and then he shook his head, falling against his door again, this time as if he was trying to back away. Sasuke frowned at him. "N-no – no you – can't – you d-don't…" he whispered, not looking up. "You said – friends – we'd just be friends, right?" his words were slightly slurred, but not as much as Sasuke would have expected, considering how much Naruto had drunk. "That's what you said. S-sake… sake… drunk… you're – you're just – "

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's chin and dragged his face around. "You might be drunk, but I'm not, and I _do_ in fact love you." And he kissed him.

He didn't mean to – it was just a kind of impulse, and it was so much harder to stop impulses when you'd had something to drink – and he almost missed, as well, just touching the one corner. But it was worth it; the blonde's skin was just as soft and warm as he'd thought, and it sent his pulse thrumming happily at his throat and chest and head. He was so light-headed, in fact, that he almost mistook Naruto's passing out for him kissing him back. He just barely caught the blonde in his arms in time to keep him from toppling down the stairs.

Sasuke struggled to pull Naruto into his arms bridal-style, and tried to open the door before he remembered it was barricaded on the inside. He was tempted to use fire to get everything out of the way, but figured Naruto would probably dislike him for that, so he stumbled around to the side of the building and clumsily made his way up the wall.

It was dark in Naruto's bedroom. He tripped once and nearly fell – all right, maybe he was a _little_ drunk – and when he finally found the bed he was too unsteady to try and go around to the other side, so Naruto ended up with his head at the foot of the bed. Sasuke stood panting and staring at him for a minute, looked around, and wondered if he was sober enough to make it back out the window without falling off the building. He looked back down at the blonde, whose breathing was deep and slow, his face flushed in the moonlight, and decided that he was most _definitely _too drunk to make it back outside. He crawled over the other ninja to where there was room – it was a bloody good thing he'd passed out and wasn't just asleep, or he'd probably have killed Sasuke on contact – and curled against the blonde's side. It was so warm there, and he hadn't slept in _such_ a long time…

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His head hurt. And his eyes hurt. And his stomach hurt. And he was still tired.

And if those birds did not shut the fuck up _right now_, they were _going to DIE_.

Naruto peeked through his eyelashes and wondered vaguely why his nose was tickling so much. All he could see was black fuzz, and he didn't know why there would be any black fuzz on his bed, much less why it would be pressed up against his nose. He opened his eyes a little more – _oh, the sunlight BURNED_ – and looked down at the black fuzz. Which was not in fact fuzz, but hair. Black hair. Black hair that belonged, more specifically, to a certain Uchiha Sasuke.

It took a moment for full panic to set in, but only because he was hung over and his reflexes weren't quite what they should be. Once he'd caught up to the proper feelings of complete and utter terror, his first thought, treacherously, was rape. Not thinking that that was what he _should_ do, of course, but wondering through a knot of unreserved horror if that was what he _had_ done. He was hung over – so what if, when he was drunk last night, he – he – oh Kami, no…

Completely willing to pull his own heart out of his chest if he'd done what he thought he'd done, he glanced down and was beyond relief and into euphoria when he saw that they were both fully clothed. All right. All right. Good. Yes. The situation might be – might be _manageable_ now. Yes. All right.

What the _hell_ happened last night?

He took a deep breath, and couldn't bring himself to let it out as he clenched one fist and use his other hand to tap Sasuke awake. Whatever happened, they had to get out of this situation, and that was very difficult for Naruto to do with Sasuke sprawled across his chest.

Sasuke mumbled something Naruto could have sworn was 'Just five more minutes…' and sleepily batted his hand away. The blonde almost let go of his breath – almost. He knew that if he didn't breathe out soon he was going to pass out, or at least start shivering violently. "Sasuke," he hissed, half of him praying the other wouldn't wake up. "Sasuke, wake up!"

The black-haired ninja shifted and blinked sleepily up at him, then yawned. "Mmm? Wha?" he mumbled, nosing against Naruto's neck. The blonde let out an involuntary yelp. WHAT THE _HELL_ HAPPENED LAST NIGHT??!!

"Sasuke! What are you doing?!"

"Goin' back to sleep…"

"WHY?! I mean – Sasuke, uh, don't you want to at least, uh, know why you're here? In my house? In my bed?"

Sasuke blinked at him blearily, and then seemed to wake up a little. "Naruto… do you remember what happened last night?"

The blonde shook his head violently, panic having taken a complete hold on his entire body and refusing to give up its hold. "No!"

Sasuke sighed and yawned again. "Calm down, a'right?" he flopped his head down on Naruto's chest. "Last night I got you really drunk 'cause I was scared to say anything otherwise an' then I took you home," yawn, "and told you I loved you and kissed you, but you passed out so I had to carry you in here, and then I was," yawn, "too tired to go home. Now go back to sleep…" he yawned again.

Naruto lay there in shock for a long minute. Then he grabbed the kunai from under his mattress and rolled so that he was pinning the other's hands under one arm and had his knife against his throat with the other. "I don't know who you are, but you're a really fucking bad imposter," he snarled, ignoring the surprised look on that familiar face, "and if you've hurt Sasuke I swear to Kami-sama that you will be BEGGING me to kill you."

The man stared at him incredulously for a second before getting angry. Naruto was a little surprised that he didn't struggle. "Naruto, you idiot, I'm not an imposter! For Kami's Sake, it's too early for this," he scowled.

Naruto pressed his knife down a little harder, and the man squirmed slightly. "You've got to try harder than that. Now tell me where Sasuke is before I decide to give you a new mouth down here," he snapped.

And then he froze at the word that came out of the black-haired man's mouth. "I'm right here, usurutonkachi! Now let go of me!"

Naruto stared at him. Usurutonkachi… Sasuke hadn't called him that in years, so how could an imposter…? The kunai fell out of his hand, and he was suddenly very, very aware that he was lying on top of his best friend, who had just said he loved him – wait, what? "But – but yesterday – your note – you said – "

"I know what I wrote, idiot! That was just to throw you off. Now will you get off of me? I can't breathe."

Naruto rolled off so fast he nearly fell off the bed. Sasuke propped himself up on his elbows and watched with obvious amusement as Naruto tried to find something to say. Even though he knew he looked stupid sitting there gaping like a fish, he couldn't seem to make himself stop. "I – I – but – you – uh – but – you – what? – I – I just – "

Sasuke smiled, and for an instant the blonde was filled with mind-numbing fear.

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Sasuke grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him firmly on the lips – and this time he didn't miss. For a second Naruto stiffened, surprised, and then melted against him as if glad for an excuse to stop talking. Sasuke pulled away slightly, eyes closed, and smiled against the other ninja's lips. "Naruto, you are _way_ too paranoid," he kissed him again, gently, and eased them back into a sleeping position. A few hours of drunken sleep did not make up for two weeks. Whatever time it was, it was much, _much _too early for this.

Naruto pulled away and scowled, his cheeks red. "I'm not paranoid; I'm just terribly, terribly alert," he muttered, cautiously wrapping one arm around the other and running his fingers through Sasuke's hair. Sasuke would have purred if he could have; that felt so _nice_… He growled when the petting stopped. "Hey, Sasuke?"

"Keep petting," he grumbled, settling into the crook of Naruto's arm.

"Would you say it again?" the fingers obediently started running through his hair again.

Sasuke murmured happily. "Say what…?"

"…What you said last night…" Naruto answered quietly. He sounded embarrassed.

Sasuke's brain was fuzz and mush again. It took a long time to figure out what it was he'd said last night that Naruto would want him to repeat.

"I just – I don't remember what you said, so…"

He smiled and kissed the tan underside of the blonde's jaw. "I love you."

An almost imperceptible shiver ran through Naruto's body.

"Hey, Naruto?" he said softly against the warm, smooth skin of the other ninja's neck.

"Yeah?"

"…Do you want to quit the ANBU?" Naruto was silent, but Sasuke could feel him tensing almost undetectably. He didn't quite know what to say, but… There was this… "Because… I want you to…" And yes, maybe he did try a little too hard to sound pathetic, so that Naruto would think that he was going to cry, but he really _did_ want him to quit.

"…Really?"

"Yeah."

"…I really hate the ANBU."

"I know."

"You think they need two weeks' notice?"

"…I doubt it." They were silent, and Sasuke started to drift back to sleep, but then he thought of something else, something very, very important, that really had to be taken care of right now. "And I'm seme."

There was a moment of surprised silence, and then a fist connected with his shoulder. "Like hell you are!"

Sasuke sat up and looked him sternly in the eye. "I'm not giving on this."

"I don't fucking care! I'm bigger than you! There's no way I'm going to be bottom!" They glared at each other for a second, and then Naruto grabbed onto him and rolled them over so Sasuke was under him. Sasuke struggled, but he was very tired, and couldn't quite get him off. "Ha! You can't even – mmhhfff!"

Sasuke kissed him. Naruto tried to pull away for a second, then relaxed. Sasuke used the opportunity to flip him. "You're bigger than me," he smiled, and bit the blonde's lower lip when he started struggling, "but you're very easily distracted. And I AM seme."

Naruto complained but didn't struggle, afraid that his lip would be removed. "'Ike b'oody he' you awe!"

Sasuke was about to continue arguing when he saw the clock hanging on the wall above Naruto's doorway. He let go of the blonde's lip. "Holy shit, it's only six o'clock?! Naruto, if you wake me up before next millennium, I swear by Kami I'm going to murder you, love or not. Good day to you." He flopped over and buried his face in Naruto's neck, asleep in an instant and leaving the other ninja awake for a few surprised minutes before his hangover forced his eyes closed again.

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Across the street, on the flat roof of another apartment building, three figures stood watching in the early morning light. One by one, as the two below fell asleep, the figures turned away and dropped lightly to the ground below.

"You see?" said the first, as he was joined by the second and then the third. "I told you I could get them together."

"You say that as if you did it all on your own," the second said, clearly unimpressed.

"Well, I _did_ do _most_ of it."

"Ha! You wouldn't have even known about it I hadn't told you about the letters. And we can't possibly forget Sakura-san's part in this; nothing you said could have helped if she hadn't aided us."

"Mmm..."

"…By the way, Sakura-san, how are you feeling? You look a little pale."

She glanced up from her feet and smiled a little. "I'm all right. And they did look sweet together, didn't they?" she linked her arms through those of her two companions.

"Mm, yes… that reminds me. How did Lee react when you told him you were free?" the first asked.

She chuckled. "I thought his head was going to explode, he looked so happy, but in the end he just fell over a few times. It's a little hard to believe he waited for me for so long."

"Well, he's a good man," the second said, patting her arm. Then he glanced across her and sighed. "Kakashi, do you always have to drag that pornography everywhere with you?"

"Of course, Iruka darling. Where do you think I get all my, ah, midnight inspiration from, hmm…?"

Sakura giggled as Iruka turned a deep shade of red and covered his face with his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you not to say things like that in public?"

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A/N: …That's the end. Right there. …:) / ):?... Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to go off into a corner and cry because it's over. Please review? It might make me feel a little better… (sniffle)

A/N2: **This is the first time I've ever written a kissing scene – or a romantic scene period – so please be kind. And thank you, everyone, for following my story this far!!! I love you all!!! (And by the way… suggestions for other stories or sequels are very much appreciated. If you want to give them. But you don't have to, of course.)**


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